Chapter 19

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(M/N) had never really seen Mashirao angry before. Not when (M/N) disobeyed his orders or Shoto broke his nose. But he was angry when he returned from a call with the president. The first thing he did was instruct Soldier Ikara, his second in command, to set up a two-person, round-the-clock guard on Katsuki. Then he took (M/N) on a walk, weaving through the sprawling tent encampment until their squad was far behind them.

"He'll try and kill me anyway," (M/N) said. "Especially here. Where there are so many bad memories to set him off."

"I'll keep him contained, (M/N)," Mashirao said.

"Why does Kaina want me dead now?" (M/N) asked.

"She denies she does," Mashirao answered.

"But we know it's true," (M/N) said. "And you must at least have a theory."

Mashirao gave him a long, hard look before he answered. "Here's as much as I know. The president doesn't like you. She never did. It was Katsuki she wanted rescued from the arena, but no one else agreed. It made matters worse when you forced her to give the other victors immunity. But even that could be overlooked in view of how well you've performed."

"Then what is it?" (M/N) insisted.

"Sometime in the near future, this war will be resolved. A new leader will be chosen," Mashirao said.

(M/N) rolled his eyes. "Mashirao, no one thinks I'm going to be the leader."

"No. They don't," he agreed. "But you'll throw support to someone. Would it be President Kaina? Or someone else?"

"I don't know. I've never thought about it," (M/N) said.

"If your immediate answer isn't Kaina, then you're a threat. You're the face of the rebellion. You may have more influence than any other single person," Mashirao said. "Outwardly, the most you've ever done is tolerate her."

"So she'll kill me to shut me up." The minute (M/N) said the words, he knew they were true.

"She doesn't need you as a rallying point now. As she said, your primary objective, to unite the districts, has succeeded," Mashirao reminded him. "These current propos could be done without you. There's only one last thing you could do to add fire to the rebellion."

"Die," (M/N) said quietly.

"Yes. Give us a martyr to fight for," Mashirao said. "But that's not going to happen under my watch, (M/N). I'm planning for you to have a long life."

"Why?" This kind of thinking would only bring him trouble. "You don't owe me anything."

"Because you've earned it," he said. "Now get back to your squad."

(M/N) knew he should feel appreciative of Mashirao sticking up for him, but really he just felt frustrated. How could he steal Mashirao's Holo and clear out now? Betraying him was complicated enough without this whole new layer of debt. (M/N) already owed him for saving his life.

Seeing the cause of his current dilemma calmly pitching his tent back at their site made (M/N) furious. "What time is my watch?" he asked Ikara.

She squinted at him in doubt. "I didn't put you in the rotation."

"Why not?" (M/N) asked.

"I'm not sure you could really shoot Katsuki, if it came to it," she said.

(M/N) spoke up so the whole squad could hear him clearly. "I wouldn't be shooting Katsuki. He's gone. Neito's right. It'd be like shooting another of the Capitol's mutts." (M/N) felt good saying something horrible about Katsuki, out loud, in public, after all the humiliation (M/N) had felt since his return.

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