Peachy

Part 21. Fight For Me

Authors Note
There's a lot of dialogue in this chapter. Hopefully it's easy enough to follow along. I will update next after Christmas, there's much more to come! Thank you so much for reading 🖤

His POV
"You knew from day one.. we both did. I don't know what else there is to say." I knew she would bring this up and I had been dreading it.

"So you would just leave tomorrow and never speak to me again? How can I just forget everything and walk away? How could you?" She sits up as she speaks her face full of confusion and I can hear the anger bubbling away inside her.

"I'm not saying it's going to be easy. You mean a lot to me Hallie and that's the reason why I can't make you mine." How can I possibly make her believe the words I'm saying when it's clear to anyone this isn't what I want.

"Never?" She's looking at me full of hope. I know this is going to crush her. Fuck it's crushing me but what's better- now or down the line when she realises I'm not good enough for her?

"I can't promise you anything, you deserve so much more than what I can give you.." These past weeks and everything she has been through have made me even more sure of that.

"Why is it for you to decide what I deserve. We work Jax. We fucking do. It doesn't need to be complicated. Why are you the only one who can't see it...I can make you happy, stop fighting it and let me in." Her voice is now almost a shout as she reaches out to me, begging for me to understand her. She's angry and I get it but she is making this whole thing so fucking hard by pushing and not understanding what I'm trying to say. I can feel the frustration building inside me.

"I'm not doubting that you'd make me happy, you have since the day we met. It's what I can give you that's the problem and it's not fucking enough!" I shout back with instant regret, letting the frustration take over.

"I can see what you can.. your not making this easy princess." I continue, trying to tone the conversation down. I don't want to argue with her, that's the last thing I want.

"No don't call me that, you don't get to call me that. Your a coward Jax" she says coldly, looking away from me.

"I..Hallie come on.. let's not do this now" I reply with a stutter. I don't know how I can make this better.

"If not now then when?" She hits back.

Silence. It fills the room and all I can hear is the sound of my heart pounding in my chest.

"The sex and the closeness these past weeks, that's ok.. but anything beyond that is pushing it too far? Make that make sense to me!" She shouts as her eyes gloss over and a single tear drops down her face.

Her words hit me hard. The idea that she'd think I'd ever use her cuts me. I'd always been honest about where this could go. I've never wanted a person in my life more or cared for anyone so fucking deep. If I could give her everything, I would in a heartbeat.

"What do you want me to do Jax?" She asks, her voice now slightly calmed.

"Hallie.. please.." I'd beg her to stop if I could, seeing her so hurt and me being the reason for that is killing me.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" She shouts in demand.

I want to take hold of her, pull her to my arms and tell her I love every fucking piece of her, to just forget all this and never see another day without her by my side but what will that achieve? I can't make these promises, she's been through too much already just for me to fuck her up even more. She needs to heal and find someone who's worthy of her love. My decision isn't easy, this is the hardest fucking thing I've ever had to do.. to say.. but it needs to be said.