Why does growing up hurt so much, why does the path i chose hurt so much, i know it will pay off eventually but its like a knife in the chest disecting every emotion, feeling and thought i have, constantly confronting myself. id say exhausting is what it is but that wouldnt be the right word, its like for a second your exploding because you feel so much and then your free, lighter than a feather your not bound by any of the chains you once were. Your past doesnt matter, no matter the pain, sadness, happiness you've endured your living for the present moment for the now and no longer letting what has happened to you dictate what is going to happen to you. Anyway thats how i feel currently, to be honest have for a while i keep thinking it will go away that i'll grow used to it, that i will get to the point where it no longer feels like im loosing a part of myself because im getting older and my childhood is gone, im no longer a child i cant get away with making the same mistakes i once did every mistake and decision now matters. My actions count more than they ever did, the moves i make on the board cant be reversed its win or loose one wrong move and im off the board, out of the game, where i can start over or end it all for good. you cant continue a game your no longer in. The game im currently in feels like im in the middle but one wrong move and ill loose my king or my queen and if that happens what will become of me. The clocks ticking i have until December 10th.
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December 10th
Science Fiction"I'll give myself one year, one more year" Brooke said, the question is did she really mange to change in a year, or did she fall further from grace than she already had. Was one last try worth it.
