Neighbour

[ 5 ].

You and Simon become friends. This friendship is something you haven't experienced in quite some time. Simon makes you feel heard and understood. It's a refreshing change from the usual dismissal of your feelings. He has a knack for making you feel like your emotions and thoughts are valid, and that you are not overreacting or blowing things out of proportion whenever you want to talk about something that bothers you.

Simon's visits become a regular occurrence, and the two of you find comfort in sharing meals together during the long, lonely evenings. However, he only agrees to start visiting when you assure him that your boyfriend is out of town and won't be coming back anytime soon.

Both you and Simon decide that it's best to keep your growing friendship under wraps. Your boyfriend is a jealous man, and given the already sensitive state of your relationship, you fear he would react negatively to you having a male friend over and spending time with him. This could potentially jeopardize any chance of having a conversation about the suspicions you harbor over his fidelity; you are still seething with anger towards König, and you need answers from him about whether or not he has been unfaithful.

There are moments when guilt seeps in, making you question the time you spend with Simon. But then you remind yourself that you aren't doing anything wrong. Your relationship with Simon is purely platonic. He always respects your boundaries, never attempts to make any unwanted advances. Despite this, however, there are instances when the playful banter and the unmistakable undercurrent of tension between the two of you becomes almost too hard to ignore. It's as if you're teetering on the brink, about to tumble into a territory that both of you are aware should remain unexplored. And yet, regardless of how close you come to this precipice, you always manage to pull yourself back at the very last moment. You never cross the line, nor does Simon.

* * *

Simon extends a rare invitation to his house on the day König is expected to return home. Remarkably, this marks the first time he has ever done so. Typically, the two of you hang out at your place, a comfortable routine that has naturally formed over the relatively short time you've known each other.

His unexpected invitation, coming out of the blue, throws you into a state of indecision, leaving you in a quandary. You find yourself caught in a mental tug-of-war, debating the likelihood of him ever asking you over again. The idea of visiting his home is tempting, yet you are know you must decline his offer.

So, later in the day, after you've taken a long shower and have settled into the living room, you pick up your phone and send him a short message, telling him you are busy.

Anxiously, you sit and wait with bated breath. Your eyes, wide and unblinking, are transfixed on the relentless ticking of the clock, its hands chasing after each other in an endless loop. Each passing minute feels like a drop of water in a vast ocean, inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, yet so crucial in this moment.

You had spent countless seemingly endless hours rehearsing your carefully crafted speech with Simon. Every word, every pause, every inflection had been deliberated over, practiced until they flowed like a well-rehearsed song. And all you wish for now, with a desperation that is palpable, is for König to return home sooner rather than later. You are a dam, filled to the brim, ready to burst and spill the torrent of words that have been shackling your heart like a pair of iron chains.

The moment the familiar purr of a car engine seeps into the quiet air, reverberating off the walls of the silent house, and the unmistakable sound of the front door unlocking echoes in the hallway, you inhale sharply. The air rushes into your lungs, only to become trapped in your chest. Your heart drops, sinking to the pit of your stomach as if it were made of stone. A sheen of chilly sweat begins to coat your trembling palms, while your muscles coil themselves into tight knots. The meticulously prepared speech, the one you had dedicated hours to memorizing, suddenly evaporates from your mind, dissipating like morning fog under the harsh glare of the sun. Your once unwavering confidence begins to waver, too, teetering on the edge of a precipice, threatening to dwindle away completely.