Neighbour

[ 8 ].

Each time you find yourself wrapped in the comforting embrace of Simon's arms, you can't help but feel a pang of guilt. It's as if you've broken a solemn promise you've made to yourself—a vow, a pledge, a commitment to stay away from him. This whirlwind of emotions, this cycle, has become a repeated pattern, a recurrent loop that seems to have no end.

After every night spent tangled in the sheets of Simon's bed, you sternly tell yourself, and him, that this was indeed the last time. You assert, with a firmness that lacks any genuine conviction, that you won't be crossing the threshold of his doorstep again.

However, this proclamation, this denial has turned into a part of a routine, too. It's just like the part when Simon, with that irresistible charm of his, teases you. A mischievous glint twinkles in his dark eyes as you hurriedly gather your scattered clothes from the floor, peeking under the bed to look for your missing panties, only to stand up and see Simon twist the thin, soft fabric around his fingers.

His voice dances around you, a teasing melody of amusement, challenging your resolve. He doesn't believe you can resist him, and his assertion fills the room. A knowing smirk slowly, almost lazily, creeps onto his face. Then, he always adds, with a hint of anticipation in his voice, "I won't lock the door—in case your bed gets too cold. Again."

You dismiss his words with a casual flick of your hand, a facade of indifference masking the turmoil within. You declare that you plan on spending the night at your own house, in your own bed, under your own roof. Yet, no matter how hard you push Simon away, how intently you try to maintain the distance, how determinedly you try to build walls around yourself, an invisible, magnetic force always lures you back to him. It pulls you back into the warmth of his arms, back into his bed, back into a world where nothing else seems to matter...

These days, it seems to be more of a rule than an exception that you find yourself spending the night at Simon's place. This is particularly the case when König isn't around to notice your absence. However, even when König is present, his attention is far from you. He's usually engrossed in his phone, busily dealing with work politics, rumours, and gossip. This scenario provides you with ample opportunity to sneak away, and you seize it on numerous occasions.

Every time you cross the street, leaving your house behind and heading towards Simon's, a heavy cloak of guilt wraps itself around your shoulders. It's like a shadow, constantly trailing behind you, tracing your every step. Yet, the adrenaline rush you experience from the risk of being caught in the act at any moment works like a balm. It momentarily drowns out the shame and guilt, providing a temporary respite from your inner conflict.

There were one or two close encounters with König, where you almost got caught red-handed. But each time, you managed to think on your feet and concoct a believable excuse. And each time, König, in his naivety, accepted your hastily made up excuse without suspicion.

Simon has grown into an obsession, more than just a fleeting thought. He's an insatiable fire consuming your every waking moment, infiltrating your thoughts, spreading tendrils of longing and desire through your day and night. No matter what you're doing or where you are, he's always there, at the back of your mind. And the mere thought of him - his presence, his voice, even his laughter - is enough to send a giddy rush of excitement coursing through your veins. Everything about him, from his gaze to his infectious smile, makes your heart flutter in a way that you haven't felt in a long time. It's as if you're a schoolgirl with her first crush again, blushing uncontrollably and giggling at the slightest provocation. And after what seems like an eternity of waiting and wanting, of yearning for something more, you're finally receiving the attention you've been desperately craving.

However, you're well aware that you need to end things with König. It's a task that's easier said than done, especially given the circumstances. You haven't been able to muster the courage to break things off yet, knowing all too well that König will demand to know why. He will want answers, and you're not yet ready to confess that you've been having an affair.