I've been thinking alot recently about the world... Do you ever feel as if you are in wonderland? Or a dream?
I have to wonder of course if they were one and the same. I mean think about it. In the original Alice in wonderland she fell down a hole, hit her head and fell unconscious. When she woke there was no evidence any of it happened. But now im off topic.
I feel as though my summer has been nothing but a dream so far. It's like, normally things aren't so balanced you know? But since it started that's all my summer has been. Whether from big to small, right to wrong, left to right, or good to bad.
It's like wonderland. I got a puppy this summer. I didn't want her to begin with but when my dad threatened to get rid of her, i freaked. I couldn't stand the thought of getting rid of Lucy. I made plans to hang with friends and got grounded the day before. I then went out swimming with family friends days later.
The worst was the most recent. I was helping out a younger cousin of mine (we'll call him Tim) pick out fathers day gifts for his daddy (we'll call him John). Well we got uncle John a couple of snacks, cologne, a card, and a bottle opener. He's a very social drinker. This morning I found out that his kidneys are failing. They are only working at 20%... the doctor said he needs to live healthier and they are putting him on dialysis. He is trying to give up smoking and drinking.
My dad is his twin brother and is getting his kidneys checked soon to see if they are in good enough condition and if he is a match for transplant. I can't stop thinking of the what ifs.
The funny thing is that I can't feel worry or panic. It's like I'm in a dream. I'm in wonderland and as soon I get out its all gonna be just a bad memory of a strange dream. Distorted and hazy and not real. Of course I know this isn't a dream but as i said I just keep thinking of what ifs.
What ifs and wonderland.
