Earth to Eli

Chapter 1

                                 ~Vance~

The task is supposed to be simple. Attend N.Y.U for a semester, befriend the human boy and lead him into a life of drinking, partying and hookups. I mean, isn't that what you're supposed to do in college anyways? The kid is lucky to have me as his mentor.

I can't mess this task up or Lucifer will have my head on a stick and parade it around the underworld for everyone's amusement. My insides turn into a sea of worms at the thought of yet another humiliation. I shove the thought away as soon as it comes to me.

This is going to be a piece of devil's food cake. How hard can it be to convince a college guy to act like a college guy?

After I've packed what little belongings I'll need to blend in as much as possible, I take the bus to the college campus. Why couldn't I have a snazzy car or motorcycle like the demons in the movies? I guess I can just steal one soon.

I pull my leather jacket tighter around me as the bus A.C blows frigid air in my face. Two more stops.

The elderly lady in the seat across from me has the most earsplitting snores and for a moment I fight the innate urge to smack her with her own magazine. No, Vance, that kind of behavior is frowned upon up here, I remind myself.

When the bus comes to a halt at the campus, I peer around at my surroundings. The first thing I notice are lots of pretty college girls, the second thing I notice is a line of expensive looking motorcycles. A sleek black one with red accents and flames along the sides catches my eye. Screw a hellcat, I need a ride like that.

Upon knocking on Eli's dorm room, I notice the first flaw in my plan. Eli is a total nerd. I'm greeted by a cheesy smile, tussled blonde oily hair and the most 4 eyed face I've ever seen.

There's nothing wrong with nerdy people, of course. Some of the coolest people happen to look just like Eli, it just happens to be counterproductive for my particular task at hand.

"Woah dude, nice piercings, you look badass," Eli greets me as if we'd known each other for ages. My ego would have been slightly boosted by his compliment if it wasn't already at an all-time high. I let myself into the dorm room and put my luggage on my side.

"Ground rules, that side is yours and this is mine. The anime posters can stay but the Star Trek stuff has got to go. I'm not available any time before noon, so please do not wake me up, got it?" I clarify, making sure my words are clear.

"No problem, bro, mi casa es su casa," he responds before turning on his video game and lounging back on the sofa.

It's not long after that when I hear another knock on the door.

"Do you have friends I don't know about?" I ask on my way to open it. He only shrugs and goes back to jabbing the buttons on his game controller.

I'm in no way prepared for what I find on the other side of the door. I'm expecting maybe a pizza delivery guy or one of Eli's geek squad buddies but it's nothing of the sort.

For a moment my knees feel like they're giving out and the room begins to spin. I grab onto the door frame in an attempt to gain some sort of composure.

"W-what the bloody h-hell are you doing here?" I ask, unable to stop myself from stuttering.

As if she knows she's the last person I want to see right now, Charlotte stands in the doorway, hand on her hip and a satisfied smirk on her perfect lips. Her golden halo hangs above her head as if taunting me, daring me to tarnish it.

For a second, I think about the last time I saw her. It was a very different scenario; her face was not so smug then. I smirk at the thought.

"You both know each other?" Eli asks, as clueless as ever.

"Not at all, I'm actually here to talk to you, Eli," she says, ignoring me and striding past me into the room.

"Me?" He asks bashfully, cheeks already blushing pink. I let out a disappointed sigh. This guy has no game, we have our work cut out for us.

"Yes, I've actually been partnered up with you to study, since we are taking similar courses. I think we could really keep each other on the right track!" She says, putting a flirty hand on Eli's shoulder. She sends me a quick wink that makes my blood boil orange. I'm not jealous.

I'll be damned if I let a little miss goody too shoes, stuck up princess like her get in the way of my plans.

"Our study sessions will be every Friday AND Saturday night," she says giving me another pointed glance. By now, it's clear what she's trying to do. She's trying to convince him to study on the weekends instead of partying and I will not let that happen.

"Eli can't study on Fridays OR Saturdays, he's going to be doing more important things." I interject cooly. His eyes widen at that as if he can't believe that a hot girl and a guy whom he idealizes are actually fighting over him.

Eli clears his throat. "How about this. I study on Fridays and party on Saturdays. It's a perfect balance," he says, pleased with himself to have solved the dispute.

"Deal," Charlotte and I say in unison. We make eye contact, and I know we're both thinking:
let the best man win.