TDI One Shots

Blue

[DUNCAN:]
Heyyyyy, 'Wennieeee

[GWEN:]
Eww. You got a left hand: Use it

[TRENT:]
Don't talk mean like that

[DUNCAN:]
You'll hurt their feelings
You make my balls so blue

[TRENT:]
You hurt them badly

[DUNCAN:]
You make my balls so blue

[TRENT:]
They're hangin' sadly

[DUNCAN:]
What did they do to you
That you hate them so?

[TRENT:]
Don't run from me
They're all beat up

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Like a tackling dummy!

[TRENT:]
They long for your embrace!

[DUNCAN:]
They're warm like mittens!

[TRENT:]
They'll curl up on your face

[DUNCAN:]
And purr like kittens!

[TRENT:]
You make my balls so blue!

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Just look at them glow...

[DUNCAN:]
They're beggin' you!

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Don't make my balls so blue

[GWEN:]
Heather...? Heather...? Open the door

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
Oh no, oh no no no!

[GWEN:]
Open the door!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
Oh no, oh no no no!

[TRENT:]
You make my balls so blue
So please say hello!

[DUNCAN:]
Hold 'em!

[TRENT:]
Enfold 'em

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
And never let go!

[TRENT:]
Once you were geeky and nerdy

[DUNCAN:]
But they knew you're dirty

[TRENT:]
You've set them on fire

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Whatever you require they'll do!
So take 'em home to meet your parents!

[DUNCAN:]
They'll wear a suit and tie

[TRENT, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
And a fancy collar!

[DUNCAN:]
They'll sing a lullaby:

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
La la la la la!

[TRENT, DUNCAN, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
Please make these balls not blue

[DUNCAN:]
Just for a while!

[TRENT:]
Can't wait till later

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
My pants are rubbin'

[TRENT, DUNCAN, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
Like a hot cheese grater!

[GWEN:]
Look! Booze. Drink!

[TRENT:]
Thank you so much!

[DUNCAN:]
They will protect you

[TRENT:]
Defend you

[DUNCAN:]
Respect you

[TRENT:]
Befriend you

[DUNCAN:]
Like Winnie-the-Pooh!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
Winnie-the-Pooh!

[TRENT:]
Baby, baby, baby, they're so blue!

[DUNCAN:]
My balls will work for you

[TRENT, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
They will obey ya!

[DUNCAN:]
They really need rescue!

[TRENT, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
Like Princess Leia!

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Baby, you've gots to come through

[TRENT:]
Teach them to smile!

[DUNCAN, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You got no clue how much
These two
Depend on you

[DUNCAN, TRENT, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
Please help them through!
My balls are in your court!

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Yeah!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You make them balls so blue!

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
You make my balls so blue!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You make them balls so blue!

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Ow! Ow!

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
You make my balls so blue!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You shake them
You quake them

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Good God!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You break..

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
My balls!
You make my balls so blue!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You make my balls so blue!
You take them

[TRENT & DUNCAN:]
Lookit! Lookit!
Lookit! Lookit!

[COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You bake them
Christ sake

[TRENT, DUNCAN, COURTNEY & LINDSAY:]
You make my balls so blue!
Please make their dreams come true
And make these balls not blue!

[356 words] I like this song wayyyyy too much. Anyways, thank you to my mutuals (??) for getting me back into Heathers.

 I'm so glad Spotify isn't taking in data right now

Anyways, I also ship dugwent (duncan, gwen and trent) so this kind of slays for me