𝐠𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐝𝟐𝐲𝐨𝐮™

interlude.

𝙨𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙖 𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙢𝙞 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙪𝙚𝙡𝙨 🌌

Crenshaw LA,

"ma.." i started tapping my nails on the wooden table as we sat watching family fued.

the house was warm but i was cold, it felt as though nothing was real and i was just observing through a tv screen.

"yes le?" she hummed while studying her word puzzles booklet.

"i think i wanna go to school.." i muttered or waiting for an reaction.

she stopped scribbling in her book before looking towards me studying my face and i studied hers in response .

"well le.." she sighed closing her book and removing her reading glasses, " I believe you should.. i've taken to notice how depressed you are and i've been praying."

"i've been praying soléa and if this is what god has convicted you to do, then baby.." she trailed off.

me and my mom were thick as thieves being i was her only child and my late father passed from cancer when i was around seven.

she was all i knew and we were all eachother had. Her family was odd according to her words, typical black family who hid the true evils in their households and believed that no matter how evil a person was at the end of the day they were "family".

she never brought me around them and moved me as far as she could.

"but not in california mommy." i looked down at my lap.

"i wanna leave this state, it's nothing but chaos and i need peace... my mind- no my soul is craving peace."

"where do you wanna go soléa?.. look at me love.." she used her two fingers to raise my head taking in my tears as they trailed down my cheeks.

"why are you crying baby?" she quietly asked sweeping some tears away.

"i'm tired ma.. so so tired." i croaked out feeling my body tremble as it let out years of pent up energies .

"tired from what soléa?" she kept the same calming voice as she softly rubbed at my left cheek.

"life ma, i feel like a failure.. twenty years old with nothing to my name but some rumors surrounding a bum ass no good ass dusty ass nigga who's done nothing but hurt me over and over and over and over.." i trailed off letting my head fall back as i stared at the ceiling getting flashbacks.

my mom didn't say anything making me look towards her seeing she just looked off into the distance.

"i'm sorry for cursing- you're okay love i'm just thinking how we're going do this for you.. i need you to be happy." she grabbed my hand.

"I think i wanna go to miami.." i sniffled, " it's this nice cna program out there and i was looking at people who needed roomies.. and they have nice jobs i can do to stack up ya know." i rambled smiling at the thought of getting away.

"okay well .. we can do that." she smiled at me smiling.

"so that's what you want to do? cna? tell me more.." she rested her head on her hand giving me undivided attention.

we began talking for hours and planning how i'd make this big move, i stood on the fact that i'd tell no one i just wanted to disappear.

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igh let's get this show onna roll!
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