𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠- 𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐢 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧

chapter 18

ADDY
a full week had passed since i had bumped into derek, and it's been hell.

ive been nonstop sulking around the apartment of mr lover boy, and have been crying myself to sleep every single night i can recall.

nightmares have been popping up more frequently and scaring the living shit out of me.

and on top of it all, tobi witnessed my first anxiety attack.

it's crept up on me like it always does, it bottles up but never quite explodes. everything beating one hundred miles an hour. you just can't see that from outside.

"hey, hey addy you're okay, you're okay. try breathe for me love. he's not going to hurt you you're safe with me" he told me that night.

"can you stay up, i can't sleep" I admitted to him late at night, knowing full well he had a shoot the following morning.

"yes adds,"

"thanks Tobi,"

"anything for you love, now try sleep,"

tobi can, he sees right through me like glass, it's actually pretty terrifying.

I've never met someone like Tobi, he's naturally gifted in all aspects but particularly in the emotional intelligence column.

he just knows how to comfort someone correctly.

and i don't know how he brought me out of my state, but he did.

he stayed with me and helped me through it all, step by step, trying to convince me to leave my trauma behind, for a bit. he spoke softly into my hair and told me it wasn't worth the suffering, derek wasn't worth it. it's scary that he was right, really right.

it was all living rent free in my head, and for what? derek and his shitty parenting didn't deserve a place in my head. and i was thankful tobi told me that.

Tobi took his time with me, didn't get sick of my shit. didn't get sick of me being completely and utterly dull and depressed. he got in the hole with me, climbed in, damaging himself in the process. and helped me out of it.

how many people can you say that about? no a lot.

there's not many gentlemen left in this world, so im glad I got the chance to have mine.

well i say mine, but after all this shit me and Tobi haven't actually had the chance to talk about what we are.

we just go on with life, and act as we would. it's never bothered me, but it's also always floating around my crazy mind.

id love to call Tobi brown my boyfriend. id die for it.

and im praying that after all this is sorted we can figure something out.

"tobi!" I shouted into the living room, since last time i checked he was lay back on his couch.

"tobi!" I shouted louder after getting no response

"yeah?!" he yelled back, so it'd reach the kitchen.

"do you want some diner?" i asked, dishing up the fresh dominos pizza, today i feel more like myself, and feel recovered from the bowling incident.

"not really," he shouted back.

"what do you mean," I entered the living room.

"not hungry," he replied bluntly.

"how, you've not ate since lunch bubs" I told him sitting down on the couch next to him.

"i don't know just not," his eyes were fixed on the tv, and his arm was rested on his head.

"what's wrong?" i clocked titling my head. he wasn't himself.

"nothing," he sighed closing his eyes.

"tobs, don't lie." I told him, reaching for his hand.

"no adds it's stupid, especially after all the shit you've went through it's irrelevant," he faced his head away from me and looked out the window.

"hey, i know it's been a tough week for me, but it doesn't mean it hasn't been one for you too. you've been working your ass of to help me, staying up with me and affecting your day to day life, obviously you'll be struggling too. don't feel as though it's dumb, it's not. i promise i care okay." I assured him.

he rolled his eyes, "promise love, I appreciate your words but it's nothing," I was unconvinced.

"okay, all im going to say is i know you're lying and im just trying to talk to you about whatever is wrong, so go ahead and lie especially after everything ive told you, the least you could do is fucking tell me the truth about this 'stupid thing'," i sighed, getting up to leave the living room.

"the least i could do? did you forget i nearly fucking died for you! ive done so much for you, sometimes i don't think you realise that!" he huffed, snapping at me.

"oh trust me im thankful for you 'saving my life' , be fucking for real tobi. you didn't save my life really. I could've handled him on my own" I fought back at a surprised tobi.

"really, could you have now? adds he's done so much shit and you know how much he's capable of more than ANYONE. you should know of all people you didn't stand a chance. maybe i didn't save it but you can't even realise i took a fucking bullet for you, a hard one!"  he finished.

"barley." I muttered under my breath, almost instantly wanting to take it back.

the room went silent and tobi glared at me with a sad and hurt look.

I wanted to take back my comment so bad, i didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it. It was all in the heat of the moment.

"tobi i-," i began getting closer to him but he stood himself up off the couch.

"it's fine addy, really." he stated quietly, walking by me and walking down the hall, into his room.

a hard rock lump formed in my throat, and i felt guilt overcome me.

great, why'd i say that? especially when i knew it wasn't true.

all i wanted to know is what was up with him and why he was suddenly down, now I've just made it ten times worse.

and this all started from asking about dinner?

YALL DONT KILL ME, #FIRSTARGUMENTERA😜

bye they aren't even official yet oops

pls comment on this or I'll kill addy off xxxxx