𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠- 𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐢 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧

chapter 19

ADDY
after me and tobis little fight, I've been pacing around the living room non stop, overthinking the situation yet again.

how've I fucked this up? and the worst part is, tobi done nothing wrong.

infact he's been doing everything right, and this is how i fucking repay him. it's safe to say im very angry with myself.

tobis not left his room for a few hours, and I'm genuinely concerned. have i pushed him over the edge?

why was he so down? god i should've just left it.

everything was spiralling round my head too quickly making me dizzy.

i tried to eat my pizza, which wasn't so fresh now, but i couldn't.

I just couldn't stop thinking about how much of a fuck up I am.

i fuck up everything and everyone.

it'd be better if i just weren't here. oh but I here I go, little miss selfish and all about me. 'not everything revolves around you Adelaide,' is what derek used to tell me, and it's the one thing he's right about.

i have a hard time concealing my emotions and helping others when im not even stable. I reflect my issues onto others. like I've just done to tobi, took my built up anger out on him.

it's like 'if im going down, you're going down with me' - but not with malicious intent.

I don't mean it it just happens naturally, I wish it didn't.

i love tobi, so why I'd even do this to him i don't know, and I keep thinking why. why'd I have to add that bitchy little comment on the end.

"barley" god ill forever beat myself up about that one.

the clock struck midnight and i was growing concerned and confused since tobi still hasn't left his bedroom.

as much as it might be awkward I'm going to have to face him eventually, so might as well do it now.

plus, im not sleeping on that couch.

slowly i crept up the long hall, my heart thudding at a million miles per hour, my little heart couldn't take it.

but it's just tobi, what's the worst that can happen? and that seemed to calm me down a lot.

i pressed my cold fist against his door, but was met with silence.

so i pushed it open and peered inside, to be faced with complete darkness, making me want to open the door a little wider.

so i did, springing it open quietly, looking down to see a peaceful tobi sleeping lay across his bed like a starfish.

i smiled at the sight and hesitantly switched a light lamp on in the corner of his room making him stir.

i changed into my jammies and snuck into bed, the end of it.

I didn't want to cuddle in with him, especially since he may not want that right now.

I turned round to meet his sleepy little face, that for some strange reason had tear streaks down it, a frown formed on my face as i wiped them off.

my touch seemed to summon tobi awake as he peeled his eyes open and sighed.

"hey," I whispered, my hand still pressed to his cheek.

"hey" he muttered back , turning around swiftly, his back facing me abruptly.

"tobs-," I started.

"im sorry addy" he spoke, as i drew light star shapes on his back. my brows furrowed in pure confusion.

"what?" bizarrely I exclaimed at his mental statement. "what do you mean you're sorry?"

"I caused it all and you just fuelled it. I just, I was just- I don't know how to say it. it's isn't even a big deal you'll just think I'm a big baby and I am, sorry i blew all this up and made your life even more of a living hell than it already is" he ranted, clearly upset with himself.

"tobs" i hushed "you've not made my life living hell, if anything it's the other way about" i smiled to his back. "so you going to tell me whats up?"

he hummed a yes and reached over to his night stand, i watched his face light up with the screen of his phone, pressing a few buttons then handing me it over, mind you his back still opposing me.

sidemenfamx78

is it just me who thinks tobi from the sidemen is a complete joke and waste of space on this earth. he deserves death, and i can back it. his jokes are dead and bro adds nothing to videos, he's dead and washed. on top of it he's ugly as fuck, no wonder he's single. his skinny thin bony little body is seriously pathetic. clearly his hard work isn't paying off in the gym, is it lad? he's so annoying as well, i skip every part of the video he's in, which is a shame because i enjoy watching everyone else. wouldn't it be better if he just killed himself and got erased from earth. he's undeserving of everything he has, he deserves to be treated like shit. he doesn't deserve anything good in his life. the gimpy little twat. he's so weak he can't even defend himself, i mean did you lot see his eye! lmaoo #tbjzlisdead like if you agree

❤️928 💬72

~ bro i agree, lad is TINYYYY.

- bros not bagging anytime soon with that body fucking hell.

~ he's built like a 10 year old get a grip

~ agree, doesn't deserve any of it.

- wouldn't be upset if he died today.

~ tbjzl to death here we go!!!

my heart sank as tears welled up in my eyes, Tobi lay staring at his wall unresponsive.

"tobi" i said softly, spinning him around to see his teary eyes, shattering me inside.

"is it true addy? am i better off just not being here" he sighed defeat and i quickly shook my head no, grabbing his face.

"don't you dare say that tobi brown, I don't want those words to ever leave your mouth again. and no, it's not true. you saved me tobi brown."

"don't lie, i heard you earlier," he sighed.

"i didn't mean it, it was out of frustration i swear," I told him whilst our eyes stayed locked on one another.

"but i didn't do anything to you adds," he chocked out and guilt washed over me, my heart sinking even further down my stomach.

"i know, i took everything out on you and i shouldn't have, I feel awful that i just made things ten times worse for you, but you should've just told me what was up," i cried smiling sympathetically at him.

"it's not that easy," he whispered sinking back into his pillow.

"well im always here. you can comfort me all you want if you let me comfort you,"

"i don't want you to feel like I'm relying on you or some shit, i just feel like im making your life more difficult," he sighed.

"no tobi, you don't make my life difficult, you make it smooth," i lay next to him, turning to face him. "im so lucky to have you okay."

"ok," he hummed.

"come here," I whispered to him, pulling him delicately into my embrace.

he sunk his head into my chest, "don't listen to that one comment, i dont think it's true okay. and they don't actually know you tobs, so dont worry bout it, your body is beautiful, you're beautiful. it's okay to struggle and have bad days, everyone has bad days babe,"

"i love you," he blurted out and a bright pink colour flushed my cheeks,

"I love you too tobi," I grinned sheepishly, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

do y'all forgive addy???

also, when will they be bf and gf!!!?

pls comment xxxxx