The Mysterious Tale of Wisteria Griffin

Chapter 6 The Witch in the Woods Is Really Hot.

Chapter 6

The Witch in the Woods

Is Really Hot.

Once everyone was dressed we headed outside, and tried to follow the map but got turned around a bit.

"Here, I can call Azrael." Haven said. He moved his hands in a circle motion, and a ring of green neon light appeared, then got wiggly and collapsed along with Haven. He fell onto me, and I lowered him to the ground with my hands under his arms, then held him up by his torso.

"Haven!" I called. He opened his eyes and then sat up a bit.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"You passed out after you said you were gonna call Azrael." Nate said.

"Don't fucking do that again! I have Azrael on speed dial." I said, exasperated.

" 'Kay." Haven said, sitting up again. He tried to stand back up but almost fell, I caught him though, and put him on my back since he was still pretty dizzy. Then I handed the map to Naiomi. Haven complained loudly, insisting he was fine, and only a little dizzy.

"You, sir, have lost your walking privileges." I said and continued walking with Haven on my back. Haven was clearly annoyed, but he really had no choice, since I was a lot stronger than him.

I turned to Naiomi and asked,

"Where to Map Keeper?"

"Into the woods!" Naiomi shouted.

. . .

The witch who lived in the woods had a really cool looking house. Like cooler than Azrael's, if that was possible. It was a castle right there in the clearing, it wasn't full size but was still really slayful, with turrets in each corner.

We walked up to the drawbridge.

"Do we knock or like . . . is there a doorbell?" Nate asked. I spotted one of those door-knocker thingies on the door, and moved it three times. We waited a bit.

Then the doors blew open and a misty voice yelled,

"Well, fuck! And now I have visitors!"

A cloaked figure came into view, slightly shadowed by the gothic castle they were standing in the doorway of (drawbridge-way?). They lowered the hood of their cloak, revealing a chubby face smeared, and dripping, with neon pink and blue gooey looking stuff. The natural colour underneath was the colour of starbucks cold brew. And did I mention they were bald? Like completely.

"BURN HER AT THE STAKE!" Ophelia exclaimed, with the most horrible British accent I had ever had the displeasure of hearing.

"Are you witch hunters? I thought you were done harassing my coven!"

"No, sorry about my friend, she's just a bit silly today." I said, with a pointed look at Ophelia.

"Who are you? What could you possibly want with me?!" She yelled as she took her hands out from under the cloak she was wearing, rings of red neon light appearing up and down her outstretched arms, like the rings on planets. Underneath the cloak she had lacy, red and black shorts, and a tube top that matched. The fishnet tights she had on were the same shade of crimson as her platform heels.

"If you're all solicitors, I have a sign that clearly states I don't want you within 15-" she was cut off by Haven.

"We're not solicitors! I'm Azrael's Grandson, and these are my friends." he said, gesturing vaguely to us.

"Oh. that old bag of bones." the witch said with begrudging distaste.

"But . . . He's the same age as you, right?" Nate asked, a bit confused.

"Shut up, Gnome. Well, I suppose you're here for the help of a witch. I need names." she said turning on her heel, her cloak did the whole, flowy-turn-the-corner-and-look-regal-AF thing.

I love her already

All seven of us walked inside (seven because I was still giving Haven a piggy-back ride, despite his protests, I put him down once and he fell over, so i picked him back up, for some reason he blushed when I picked him back up, and also Seth and Bash keep whispering to each other, and I heard both of our names come up multiple times. weird). Our sorceress friend was walking rather briskly down the hallways of the castle, leaving my breathing a little heavy.

Haven, of course, picked up on this, and said,

"Wisty, If you're too tired you can put me down, I'm fine now."

"Bitch, shut up, I've survived gym class as an anaemic kid, I'll be fine. Besides, the last time I put you down, you fell over and the castle floors are stone. Just no."

"Put me the fuck down, or I'll rip all your hair out one strand at a time!" Haven threatened.

"Oh my god, fine. Don't fall on your face, because I won't revive you when you inevitably crush your skull on impact." I said, setting him down.

"Thank you." He said, walking away kind of flustered.

"What's up with him?" I asked Seth and Sebastian as they walked up by me.

"Girly, how? He is being so obvious about it!" Bash replied.

"He really is, like I don't know how you detected that Nate had a crush on Naiomi, when you can't see that Haven is!"

"Haven's in love with Naiomi too?!" I asked in.

"No! Bestie, he's in love with you! This isn't a love triangle!" Bash exclaimed.

"You're delulu, we are literally. Just. Friends. Like, since we were five, nothing else."

"Sweetheart, you're the delulu one, he quite obviously has a crush on you!"

"Can we just be done with this conversation? It's getting nowhere." I remarked.

"Fine, but when I catch you two making out, don't say I didn't call it."

"I won't, because that's not going to happen." I said, walking away.