Christmas Eve was just a couple days later, and instead of walking in the park amongst the freshly fallen snow, or touring the elaborate lights put up in the rich neighborhood nearby, or baking Christmas cookies while watching cheesy Christmas movies, or any of your other cute Christmas plans with Sungchan, you were bedridden with a migraine. A bad one.
You let out a soft whimper as tears welled up in your eyes, both from the pain and from pure frustration at having something else ruined for you because of these stupid migraines. Ice skating you could reschedule, but you couldn't take a rain check on your first Christmas (Eve) together.
Sungchan curled his arms around you tighter, a steady pressure across your back. "It's been two hours," he murmured as quietly as possible.
"I don't want my stupid fucking medication that isn't fucking working," you practically spat out, the first tears slipping down your cheeks.
"I'm so sorry, baby." Sungchan pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder, careful to avoid your scalp, which currently felt like it was on fire in addition to your usual squeezing and stabbing migraine pain. Side effect from a new rescue medication your neurologist was having you try. Safe to say it wasn't a winner.
At the distress in his own tone over his usual regrets of seeing you hurting but not being able to help, you finally broke down into open sobs. Clenching your eyes shut tight, you clung to his arms. Your chest shook with every breath as you quietly wailed, burying your face in your pillow. You couldn't bear to turn around and see the angst on your boyfriend's features.
"Oh, baby," he whispered, his voice cracking. "If I could take all your pain away and put it on myself, I would. God, I'm so, so sorry."
You could hardly talk past the solid, hard lump in your throat, at first letting out a couple more strangled sobs as your tears and spit ruined your pillowcase. When you finally blubbered something out, your voice was distraught and despondent, "Why can I never... never have nice things? Why does it feel like the world is so big and nothing can go right and it all hurts so much... and I'm just so small and my body and my brain are... so broken?"
"I don't know, baby, I don't know," Sungchan replied desperately, fully weeping with you into your shoulder now. "You don't deserve this. I'm so sorry."
✦
You eventually fell asleep, but unlike your typical migraine naps, this one didn't bring any sort of peace to Sungchan's mind. Usually the naps were a good sign, you would wake up without the migraine and be relatively all better. But you'd never cried yourself to sleep during a migraine before, and having to hold a bawling you in his arms while he couldn't do anything but apologize for being absolutely useless had left him shaken up. He didn't think he'd be able to nap with you this time.
Sungchan didn't dare move, keeping watch over you as you slept as if he could keep anymore pain away. He could still hear the echo of his heart breaking into a million pieces the moment you'd started crying.
✦
Your head still fucking hurt. But this was a different throbbing than before, and was definitely from the heavy crying you'd done earlier. You groaned, covering your eyes and sniffling.
You could hear Sungchan's breathing next to you, but he didn't say anything as you rolled over to bury your face in his neck. Letting out a deep sigh, you found that you were dried out, unable to summon more tears. Finally, you spoke, "What time is it?"
God, your throat was dry.
"Six forty-five..." he replied softly.
"Well, Merry Christmas, Channie," you grumbled.
"Merry Christmas, Y/N."
"Do you think it's too late to go see the Christmas lights?"
You could feel him tense up under you.
"Are you sure? You don't have to make yourself do anything for me, baby," he reassured you, rubbing your back.
"I want to..." You insisted. "I just... probably need my earplugs. And sunglasses."
"Of course, whatever you want."
"And then we can come back and do eggnog pancakes?" You asked hopefully. The migraine had started right before Sungchan could start cooking this morning, so you weren't able to enjoy your promised festive breakfast prepared by your boyfriend.
"Sounds like a plan."
"And then presents."
"Like I said, anything my girl wants."
YOU ARE READING
buzzer beater ✦ j.sc | ✔
Fanfictionin which you swear you're only going to the joint halloween party being hosted by the hockey team and nu chi tau for a few minutes just to say hi to sungchan, but as can be expected with your life, something goes horribly, horribly wrong ; fluff, g...
