To Say Goodbye is the Hardest Thing (Tommy x Reader)

To Say Goodbye is the Hardest Thing

Your right hand trembles as you struggle to even drag your pen across the white sheet of paper. You felt your heart breaking little by little with each passing minute, to the point you felt like you'd have no heart left because of how broken it is, if that's even possible. Ever since Tommy died, a huge part of you died along with him.

"I..." you began ever so silently, then gulped away the rising lump in your throat. "I can't do it."

Ali placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, her warm but sad eyes watching you struggle to articulate your feelings of losing the love of your life.

You were preparing to write an eulogy about your now late husband Tommy for his funeral that's coming up in a week. You couldn't bear to be in the house any longer, as his absence lingers heavily in the premise. So instead, upon asking Ali to spend some time at her house, she is more than happy to provide a space for you to grieve without feeling the heavy void in your shared home.

"You can do it," she replied softly. You gripped your pen tighter as you questioned life, questioning why this happened. You were hoping to live at least a few more years together with him. Apparently his health had other plans.

He has been battling terminal cancer for the past few months and wasn't expected to live much longer. Despite being heartbroken that you lost your husband, you took solace in knowing he got to spend his final moments with his Cobra Kai buddies, riding on motorcycles, drinking and fighting some group of guys, and going camping just like they did in high school. Sounds a lot better than dying in a stinking, over-sanitized environment with annoying beepings and doctors giving you medicine that makes you sick. At least he had fun during his last day.

The last conversation you had with him was reminiscing your years together with him; dating him shortly after the tournament, prom night, getting married, going on trips and spending the rest of your lives loving each other like there's no tomorrow. Because you love your precious boy so much. The thought of having to bury your other half made your heart crunch and you just wanted to shrivel up and cry. But you must focus on keeping yourself together, just for a time being to honor him the way he deserves.

The last time you saw him alive was when he was leaving with his fellow Cobras, minus Dutch since he is serving time for some crimes he committed.

Dutch... your heart hurts knowing that he wasn't able to see his buddy for the last time. You don't remember the last time you saw him, all you know that it was years ago before he got arrested. Maybe the prison will let him out to say his last goodbye.

You took a deep breath as you inched your pen closer to the paper.

"I... I don't know where to start..." you mumbled. Tommy means so much to you that you don't even know where to begin!

"Just write what your heart feels. Think of it like an essay you're writing in school and then later, you can finalize your draft to make it a little better." You nodded, then you got to writing, generating the roughest draft you've written.

"My beloved Tommy... it hurts so much, so bad... You're my everything... I've loved you since the day we met... my favorite memory are pretty much anytime I'm with you..." You were barely comprehending what you've written, just descriptions of your grief as you go.

Your words are all over the place, your grief ridden words covering the paper in less than 15 minutes and you didn't realize until you pulled back, looked at the paper and saw that it was stained with teardrops.

You didn't realize you were crying until Ali got up to grab a tissue box before sitting back down. You grabbed a couple and wiped your tear drenched face. Just writing a draft took a lot of energy.

"Do you want something to drink?" She asked.

Nodding, you replied, "Water, please."

"Sure," she said softly as she got up to grab a water bottle from the fridge and handed it to you. You accepted it, then stared at it as you processed the whole thing. Wondering how it comes to this, how you went from a teenager gushing to her friend about a cute boy you've been talking with to having to write an eulogy and having to bury him.

"Is everything okay?" You were snapped out of your trance to see your friend looking at you with concern.

You nodded again. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just needed to lie down..."

Ali was quick to get up and assist you to her couch. She took the maroon throw blanket sitting on the arm rest and covered you as if tucking her child to bed. You're so grateful for having such a great friend like Ali.

She's been with you every step of the way ever since you lost Tommy. She helped you prepare the memorial service and put together photos on your laptop which you know damn well that you won't be able to do by yourself. She even cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner for you. During a time where all you felt like doing is breaking down and never bothering with anything else. But it's friends like her that made life a little more bearable during your time of sorrow.

During the funeral, despite using all your strength and putting in a lot of effort and emotions to write a eulogy for your Tommy, you saw that you could not bring yourself to speak. Thankfully Ali offered to be with you on the podium so you don't feel alone.

You glanced at everyone in the room. The old Cobras, some new, your family and friends from high school and a kind co-worker of yours attending the service.

You looked back down on your paper and opened your mouth but no word came out. You were too upset to speak.

"Do you want me to read for you?" Ali whispered, to which you nodded.

Ali cleared her throat before starting. "I will be reading it on behalf of Y/N. To Tommy, my husband, my best friend, my precious boy, my everything... Thomas Robert Garrison..."

As she continues to speak for you, you feel your emotions building up as you remember all the times you spent with Tommy. Riding with him across town on his motorcycle, holding hands everywhere you go, going to the arcade, and simply just talking and laughing just about anything.

You were so distracted by the memories that you didn't realize she was done with your five-page long speech until she escorted you to your seat.

You were overwhelmed with so many hugs, condolences and shared memories they had with him, yet you didn't really process it. Everything about today was a blur. You feel so empty.

You went to go find Johnny and hugged him tightly, him returning the sentiment.

"Thank you," you said ever so quietly, your voice breaking. "For making his last moment meaningful."

"You're welcome," he replied softly. You pulled back and wiped your tears away. You had been crying so much that it made your eyes hurt and swollen. Your face became a little puffy from the constant emotion that consumed you for the past week and a half.

Upon approaching the door to leave after the service concluded, you looked back at the closed coffin and you felt like you died again. This is the start of your life as a widow now, as much as you hate to think about it.

"I'll see you again, baby," you whispered before turning around to leave, with Ali waiting beside you.