Gilded Cage

Chapter Nine

"Christmas is a stolen holiday. Before Christianity, people celebrated the winter solstice as a way to close a circle and be ready for the new year; they certainly did not await the birth of a random child conceived by God and a virgin. Bruma, Yule, or whatever people liked to call it; during this time, in December, the sun is the furthest away from the equatorial plane, nights are longer and light is minimal. After the solstice, days start to get warmer and on what is now called 'Christmas day', the sun conquers darkness, and the world is reborn. The Christian-centric..."

I ripped the page of my notebook and threw it on the ground. I had been trying to start my paper on pagan celebrations five times, failing to remain impartial in my argument. I wanted to discredit Christianity and its bad habit to take other religions' festivities and make them their own, but I was too emotionally involved to think straight. Whatever I was writing, it wasn't something that could be considered an objective academic essay. It was the ramble of an atheist who regretted ever stepping foot in that bloody Folklore class.

Fuck Jamie and his obsessions with God.

Suddenly, my stomach grumbled. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to pacify the feeling of hunger. I was starving. We had started the purification step two days before, and I hadn't had any food or drink except for water ever since. I felt weak and cranky all the time. I couldn't concentrate on my studies or anything else that wasn't this ritual. My mind wandered, making up scenarios in my head that were keeping me awake at night. "Christmas works perfectly for the ultimate sacrifice," Alexi had said. "It's a time of renewal, new beginnings. A new life." No one had argued with that. And when the time had come, we stopped eating and drinking to purify our bodies before the last step.

"Murder," I said, under my breath.

"You know, the first sign of madness is talking to yourself." Thomas plopped on the chair next to mine. "Hiii!"

I glanced at him. "Hello."

He leaned towards me and whispered, "Careful of what you say in public, dear Benji. Someone could hear you."

"The floor is empty. Leave him alone," Christian snapped, taking a seat in front of me. Paola was right after him. We had barely seen each other since Alexi and I came back from Stockholm; there were no more classes for this term, and everyone was busy with their own assignments. We didn't even go to the dining hall at the same time anymore. It was weird being all together in the same place again after a couple of weeks of just me and Alexi. He had started spending most of his time in my room; he said it smelled like me. I was fine with it if it meant I could keep an eye on him.

"I haven't had the chance to ask you about the trip yet," Thomas said, dismissing Christian with a wave of his hand. "Had fun?"

I shrugged. "We only stayed for a few days. We didn't do much." I didn't know how much the three of them knew about Alexi's family. I wanted to protect what he had shared with me in Stockholm.

"Come on, give me something," Thomas fussed.

"What do you want me to say?"

"How's his mum? Did you have the chance to visit the city? Did you fuck like rabbits in his childhood bed?"

"Enough." Alexi's voice boomed in the small open space, making us all jump. He sat at the table with us, putting down the journal in front of him.

We had decided to meet at the flat in the west wing after I argued that talking about killing someone in public wasn't the smartest idea. Even if almost everyone had gone back home for the holidays, and the corridors of the castle were basically empty all the time, discussing our business in the Common Room would have still been a risk.