DAGGERS TO THE HEART Part 1 - GAME OF THRONES

Jon IV

The truth should always be the best policy when it comes to matters of the heart. Jon didn't want to lie to Sansa and tell her he felt nothing for Ygritte; after all, she was his first and she'd died in his arms. But it was a different type of love. The one only youth can bring, where someone is free of the burdens of life experience. The woman he loved then would be the same, but the man he was now wouldn't see her like he did. Only the bastard boy of the Night's Watch Jon Snow, who it turned out, really did know nothing, could love Ygritte. The man, Jon Snow, or Aegon Targaryen he had become, wouldn't be able to feel like that towards her. He even doubted he would find her particularly attractive now. Not because she lacked beauty, but because she was too wild. He liked a woman who could and would fight, but only in self-defence Although he'd never admit it to anyone, he had always wanted to be a hero as a child, and that hadn't completely died in him. He thought he'd been a hero for Daenerys, but he was becoming less sure as every day passed. She may have seen him as a heroic figure, but there were no heroes for Daenerys, she saw herself as the hero of her own story.

Sansa needed Jon, not to physically protect her as her training was coming along well and he suspected she would become a capable fighter. Nor did she need him for political gain. She had needed him to get out of marrying Joffrey, and it was entirely possible she could want to annul the marriage as soon as possible, but Jon suspected that she wouldn't. Not because she wanted to be Queen, because the last place Sansa ever wanted to see again was Kings Landing. She would be enduring it for him. Sansa needed him because he was the one who had been there when she was at rock bottom, after everything that had happened with Ramsay, Jon was the only person who would ever know what she went through. In truth, Sansa was the only person who would ever know how much death had affected him. They had endured simultaneous traumatic experiences and had strengthened one another by bonding over it. It was something neither of them could ever fully explain to Arya, she knew it, and he hated that. So when they were in the tower and Arya had left them alone, he had to talk to Sansa alone.

"We haven't really talked about this properly, alone, since we got married." Jon started. "I'm going to make my intentions clear. I want a marriage like your mother and father, except without the complication of a bastard that never was. What do you want?" he asked.

Sansa frowned and thought for a moment. "I suppose I want the same thing." she agreed. "Do you think we can ever have that type of relationship?"

"We will have time apart to think about it." Jon could only reply. "I would like to hope we can. But if you don't want it, then I will not force it upon you."

Sansa smiled at that response, taking his gloved hands in hers. "You are the only man I know who is honourable enough to treat me how I would want to be treated. And I know you won't...well you know. Unless you get desperately lonely."

"I was a man of the Night's Watch, being lonely from the lack of a touch from a woman, if that is what you mean, was normal to me." He placed his arms around her. "This separation might be a good idea. Right now you look like a child. I know what a beautiful woman you will become and I'm a lucky man. In fact I'm the luckiest man in the whole of Westeros. I'm married to the most beautiful woman in the whole Seven Kingdoms. Do you think I would jeopardise that?"

"I would have thought she was the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms." Sansa frowned.

"I'm not blind Sansa. I would heartily disagree with that sentiment. I could see what a great beauty you were. But you were my sister, how could I look at you like that? Not only that, but you'd been..." he couldn't say the words.

"Raped and tortured." Sansa finished the sentence. Jon nodded.

"How could I ever hurt you after what you went through?"