DAGGERS TO THE HEART Part 1 - GAME OF THRONES

Jon V

As he rode away from Queenscrown, Jon felt a mixture of sadness and confusion. Sadness for leaving his family, confusion over what had transpired between him and Sansa. Of course, it was only a kiss or four, and they were only for show, however when he told Sansa to imagine someone else, he'd expected himself to imagine he was kissing Daenerys; he didn't, in his mind's eye it was the adult Sansa he used. It shouldn't have mattered, but imagining her being in his arms had the desired effect, and he knew it shouldn't.

Jon cast his mind back to their relationship before the long night. How did he feel about Sansa before he met Daenerys? Jon had thought their closeness was about their bond forged out of a need for each other. Surely there couldn't have been more to it than that. He reflected on his reaction towards Littlefinger's advances, and he knew that was more than an overprotective brother. Had he felt something else and suppressed his feelings out of guilt because of who she was? Did that explain why he had suddenly fallen for Daenerys? A distraction from where his heart lies. If he had to choose between them, he knew he'd always choose Sansa, but was that because he'd believed her to be his sister or something else? These were questions he'd never have the answer to. What he did know was his reaction to Sansa when they kissed should have been more muted.

The next question for Jon had been who had Sansa imagined when they kissed? Whoever it was had elicited a passion in her he had never expected, especially that morning in bed. For the first time, Jon was glad she still had the body of a girl of ten and four, otherwise he would have struggled to stop himself. Yet the kisses which were of a more sexual nature weren't the ones which confused him the most. It had been a goodbye kiss. Either Sansa was the greatest mummer of all time, or she meant it. The words she'd said to him weren't for others to hear, they were for him. She spoke to him like a wife would speak to her husband who was going off to war, not a sister or cousin. Her tears had seemed real, just as his had been.

"You seem to be either in Queenscrown or at the wall already." Tyrion interrupted his thoughts.

"Aye." Jon sighed. "Still in Queenscrown, I wish."

"Sick of our company already, or were you wishing to be in bed with your Lady wife?" he smirked.

"What do you think?" Jon asked.

"If you'd have asked me yesterday, I would have thought you found our company distasteful, this morning I'm not so sure." Tyrion frowned. "You know, I didn't believe you would have bedded her. I mean, she was your sister and all."

"When Lady Stark thought I was my uncle's bastard, she kept us apart. We found out a few years ago that I was Brandon's son, she still kept us apart because I was a bastard. But we secretly ignored her." Jon lowered his eyes, trying to look as guilty as he could.

"Ah, so love blossomed." Tyrion seemingly understood what Jon was trying to tell him. "And is that a reason for your insistence on marrying her?"

"It wasn't my insistence, we got caught." Jon lied. "Lady Stark wasn't very happy about her perfect daughter cavorting in secret to someone she was not betrothed to, even worse with a bastard. She was no longer of any desire towards a High Lord."

"You dishonoured her?" Tyrion raised an eyebrow, Jon nodded.

"Lord and Lady Stark couldn't exactly tell that to the King what really happened, they were far too embarrassed; so we were married in secret and sent away before King Robert arrived." Jon looked over towards Benjen, who was listening very carefully to his tale.

"Forgive me but I am confused as to where Lady Arya comes into all of this. Why was she sent to Queenscrown?" he asked.

Benjen laughed. "Even I could answer your question without speaking to my brother. My niece adores Jon. And no matter what Cat said or did, the little one was never interested in learning how to run a house." he turned to Jon. "Am I right?"