Ren & Stimpy's Steupid Christmas

stimpu gyatt

"HOLY FUCK KNUCKLES REN, LOOK WHATS ON TV!!!" Stimpy excitedly pointed to the TV.

"I'm busy..." Ren was reading his newspaper like the old man he was. Or skmerbjng.

"But SANTA IS COMING TO TOWWWWN!" He joyfully jumped.

"Alright, alright." Ren looked up from his paper.

TV:
Muddy Mudskipper INFLATABLE COSTUME IN STORES NOW! THIRTY BUCKS FOR EARLY LIMITED EDITION SPECIAL!

"WE NEED TO GOoOOO!" Stimpy shook Ren, making stars surround his head. He shook his head.

"ALRIGHT, ALREADY! It's just a steupid costume! Nothing special... and besides, you have another costume." He looked back at his paper, annoyed.

"But it's as torn into shreds as your grandmother's dead corpse :("

"I don't give a sh- wait my grandmas alive."

"Ohhhh ren."

"What is it now you STUPID WORM?"

"Let's go NOW!"

"Now? It's 7AM!" Ren put his paper down and drank his coffee that was totally there the whole time.

"NOO, PLEEEEASE GO TO THE MALL REN PLEAE PLEASE!" Stimpy begged, holding onto Ren's leg.

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN! Alright, we can go." Ren facepalmed, and stimpy smiled, saying "joyyyy, " and he flew to the car they most definitely don't have.

Stimpy drove to the mall, going 90 mph and the mall was literally right next to their house.

"Wait. Why are YOU driving?!"

"Uh oh..." all Stimpy said before they crashed into the mall and Ren flew out of the car and fell on a family taking a photo.

"YOU DARN WHIPPERSNAPPERS!" The grandpa dude yelled at him. "IM 32!" Yeah right GRANDPA! Anyways he took his cane (his shotgun) and wacked Ren with it.

Okok no one cares ANYWAYS Stimpy on the other hand stayed in the car and is now getting talked to cops.

"First of all what the fek 🤌" the cop said. This made Stimpy feel bad so he gave the cop a whole Instagram vent story to guilt trip the cop so they would let him get away with destroying the mall and accidentally murdering 6 people and injuring 58 people.

Ren runs to the scene and says to Stimpy. "...you're an eediot."

Stimpy frowns, but he perks up again as he sees his idol. He grabbed Ren's shoulders. "LOOK, REN!" He turned him around, and Ren saw Santa Claus. "OH JOY!" Stimpy dashed to the line of kids waiting to meet Santa. He cut everyone. All he heard was kids crying.

Ren was behind everyone with crossed arms and tapping his foot, checking his watch, waiting for Stimpy to finish with his steupid interaction with the mall santa.

"I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim." Stimpy excitedly listed.

Santa sighed. "I don't watch spongebob, man." Stimpy frowned. Santa punched him.

Ren watched, and his eyes widened. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Ren cuts everyone, and everybody cries again.

Ren smacks the mall santa and holds Stimpy. "YOURE NOT EVEN SANTA! YOURE JUST UHH A COSPLAYER!" Stimpy blankly looked at the mall santa and back at Ren. "What do you me -" "Shut up."

"But I am santa. And you're not getting any presents this year, REN!"

Ren gets a little scared. "How do you know my name? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU SICK LITTLE MONKEY!"

Santa chuckles evilly.

"Why, I'm no other than..." Santa UNMASKS WHO HE REALLY IS.

Ren gulps. "Mom."

"It's DAD YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!"

"Oh... OH. You."

"I don't like this, Ren." Stimpy is scared. "What does this mean...?"

"It means MY DAD IS SANTA! AND MY MOM KISSED SANTA."

"OMGGG REN'S DAD SIR, I NEED YOUR AUTOGRAPH!" Stimpy jumped out of Ren's arms and grabbed Ren's dad's leg, begging for an autogram.

"GET OFF, YOU BUM!" He kicked Stimpy away, making him stare blankly, as his hero just hurt him physically and emotionally. Stimpy got up and walked away, crying loudly. Ren looked back. "STIMPY!" He tried, but Stimpy didn't turn back.

"YOU..." Ren shouted at his father.

"WHATR I DO?!" He questioned.

"YOU HURT MY BLITHERING EEDIOT! I OUGHTA CUT YOU OUT OF MY LIFE FOREVER!"

"NO NO WAIT, I STILL NEED TO POST YOU ON FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM AND EXPLOIT YOU!"

"NO. GO FUCK YOURSELF!" Ren kicked him in the balls and ran to find Stimpy.

The whole line of kids and adults stared at Ren's dad in shock.

"So santa... isn't here." A kid asked her dad.

"He never was." He said, and she began crying at her loss of innocence. So did every other kid.

"Fuck I'm late, ho ho ho!" The real santa says as he walks in the mall and all the kids start jumping in cheer.

"YOURE A JOKE!" The kid said to her dad.

Tlk about a happy holiday

Meanwhile, Ren finds Stimpy, and they walk home in the blizzard, eventually finding their home.

"I know you're hurting, Stimpy, but we'll get through this, I promise." Ren tried to comfort Stimpy.

Stimpy starts crying loudly. "He was my hero!" Ren hugs him and pats his back.

"Let's see what's on the news." Ren turned the TV on. He saw the real santa at the mall giving everybody his autograph. Ren looked at the tv shocked and disappointed. He looked at Stimpy, who was watching with a disappointed look on his face.

"I'm so sorry, Stimpy. You missed your chance to meet the real Santa." Stimpy didn't respond. He began shaking, and his eyes formed tears. Ren hugged him again, but then Stimpy whispered, "he's real." Ren didn't hear him. "What was that?" Stimpy jumped excitedly and smiled widely. "He's REALLLL!!!!!!" Stimpy was so happy and full of joy. His Christmas spirit is back.

"Welcome back, Stimpy." Stimpy gave Ren a BIGGGG kiss on his cheek. "IM GONNA MAKE MORE COOKIES!" Stimpy ran to the kitchen and started the oven. Ren sighed joyfully, then said, "stupid."

The end!