Another first day

Ch.25.The.End.

It's all white, bleak and familiar, something I've been subjected to hundreds of times. The hospital. I can't move, my body's strapped down, I'm weak, my head's pounding, aching, stiff material covering most of me, my eyes refusing to focus. I let out a low groan, trying to move, my arms fighting against the restraints, a stinging sensation pulling at my skin.

"Miss, you're awake?" Morris. I can't see him, my vision too blurry to see anything other than color, the only noise I can make another groan, my voice hoarse, barely there. "Nurse, she's awake, she needs out of these binds, immediately. She's a hero, not a damn animal." This is the first time he's ever sounded angry, usually he's more disappointed. I can feel smooth hands trailing my skin, rough fabric loosened from my wrists, my ankles, my stomach. I don't move, not that I can, too weak to even scratch the itch on my shoulder. The scabs are tight over my skin, uncomfortable, covering majority of what unmarred skin I had left.

"Miss, can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding?" I can't, can only see a blob of tan in front of my face, my eyes burning in the overhead light when I try to focus, my mind in search of something other than the people in front of me, someone else.

"Le- Where?" It hurts, the skin of my throat pulling, threatening to rip.

"Miss, try not to speak much, the poison damaged your vocal cords, they're in recovery." I don't care about that, I thought that would be obvious. "I'm going to administer eye drops, your eyes are having trouble focusing." I grab the hand coming toward me, flashes of villagers standing over me sending me near panic, they're not real, but it sure as hell seems like it.

"Miss, calm down. You're safe, you're home." Morris is soft, always has been, able to calm me, give me the truth and convince me I can handle it. His hands are on me, holding me still, pressed lightly to my biceps, skin to bandage. "You can't move, you'll rip the stitches." I groan, sitting still, listening.

"Leon?" I need him, he's the only thing that can keep me from spiraling, give me what I need to stay here, keep me from reliving it, dying in Brazil, leaving him behind for the sake of humanity, mine having no bearing on my decision, my sacrifice.

"He's here, sleeping, miss. I'm going to do the eyedrops, stay still." I do, wanting to see, prove to myself I'm here, not dead and deluding myself with false hope. The drops burn, my eyes blinking away the leftover wetness, squinted when I look at him, Morris, looking relieved. "I'm very glad you made it back, miss." He's tearful, and I would be too, if I had the energy to be. I feel sluggish, muddy, thoughts coming and going without much cohesiveness.

I'm sat up, my skin pulling uncomfortably, my eyes falling on my body, a cast covering my left leg, my torso wrapped tight, most of my exposed skin bandaged, the familiar feeling of the nose aligner shoved into my nostrils. It's horrifying, seeing myself, hopelessness coming up my throat, making me sick, my body rolling weakly onto the floor, slamming to the tile when my arms buckle beneath my weight, a loud groan sounding before I retch, right onto the floor, warm, rough hands holding onto me, brushing my hair back from my face, keeping me halfway upright. My head is spinning, pain hitting me full force, broken ribs stabbing into my organs as I heave, trying to calm down, clutching my head, keeping myself here, with him.

"Le- Le..." I can't speak, only allow myself to be pulled gently into his arms, his low words spoken into my hair, his body shaking against me.

"You're okay, princess. We're okay. Fuck, you scared the hell out of me, sweetheart. I'm so glad you're okay. You're here. You're here." I am, safe once again in his arms, escaped against impossible odds, against the wish of Dennis. My hair is wet with his tears, soaking into me, his fear and pain wrenching my heart, physically hurting me, everything in me tight with worry for the man in front of me.