Nyanko da! (ft Natsume): A Brothers Conflict Fanfic

Chapter 24: Natsume-san mo?

"Scared?" Natsume and I ask together.

Well. That would explain it.

"Ema—" I start.

"It's okay to be scared," Natsume cuts me off this time. He relaxes and gives his full attention to Ema. "Are you scared about moving out, or are you worried that you have to move out?"

"H-Hai."

Which is it? Does she mean both?

I tilt my head, still confused.

Natsume softens and goes into big-brother mode. "I hope none of the guys told you you had to move out or something."

"Iie, iie!" Ema defends them. "They didn't say anything like that at all. I've just been thinking about the future since I started university. Subaru-san moved out only last year to become a pro-basketball player, and Iori-san went overseas for university. I know I was okay back then, but now I'm the same age as they were when they left. I know that it wouldn't be odd if I left as well, but I don't want to. Not yet..."

"Are you sure no one told you you had to move out?" Natsume murmurs to himself. The glare in his eyes makes me shrink back a little. Something tells me the Asahina brothers better watch out.

Not wanting to be in the line of fire, I turn back to Ema. So this has been on her mind for a while now? Now I'm worried that my staying at her place has been bothering her more than I thought.

"The future really does come around fast, doesn't it?" I say, smiling down at the cat with a wistful tone. "I can only imagine what it's like living with such a big family. There must be a lot going on all the time. Lots of constant changes, too."

"Mn." Ema fidgets. "I know I've talked about this with my brothers before, but it's still scary how fast things are changing. It felt like I finally grew comfortable with everyone around, and then everything changed again."

"And it's going to keep changing, but that's life," Natsume says. He folds his hands on the tabletop. "I think about it a lot, too."

Ema blinks in surprise. "Natsume-san mo?"

It's hard to imagine others sharing similar thoughts when we've got dark clouds in our thoughts. On that I can empathize.

Natsume nods, the orange of his hair reflecting the cafe lights. "Of course I do. I don't live with everyone anymore, so every time I go back something's always changed. Someone might have moved out or gotten a new job, or maybe they're in school again or moved onto another big project. Whether personal or work-related, things are never the exact same when I go back to visit. There are times when I worry that one day I won't recognize anything or anyone at all."

I clutch my glass, amazed at how deep things have gotten. I would never have expected Natsume to share such a revelation in a cat café, in the presence of a complete stranger no less.

But Natsume's eyes are locked on Ema, his words only meant to reassure Ema. It's like he's forgotten that I'm here at all.

I feel a twinge of jealousy. If only my brother Shin was this self-actualized. 

"Do you mean that, Natsume-san?"

"Of course," he says. "Put yourself in my shoes. I didn't visit home for a long time, but one day Tsubaki calls me out of the blue and tells me our mom is getting remarried. He doesn't tell me anything else, except for the date and time it's happening and to bring a wedding present."

My mouth hangs open in shock. 

Tsubaki did that?

I'm starting to worry about the inner workings of the Asahina clan.

But Natsume isn't done. "Then the next time I meet up with everyone it's at the wedding in the church, and there's someone there I've never met before in my life."

Recollection dawns in Ema's eyes. She remembers that day, too.

"How do you think I felt when I learned I had a new little sister all of a sudden?" he asks. Natsume chuckles at the memory of it, which by his warm tone I presume is important to him. 

Ema finally lets out a small laugh. "It must have been overwhelming. A lot changed for us that day."

Natsume smiles. "There. You're smiling again. I'm glad."

Self-conscious of herself, Ema covers her mouth, surprising herself.

"You don't need to worry about moving out for now," Natsume says, circling back to the main issue. "No matter what changes around you, you only need to worry about going at your own pace. Just because some of us moved out at your age doesn't mean you have to. You decide what you're going to do and when. Besides, even if you move out you can always come back. The guys—"

He revises his statement. "—All of us would welcome you back."

"Is that true, Natsume-san?"

"Of course. Like you said, you think of us as a real family. So do we."

Ema considers this. "It's like that for you, too, then, Natsume-san?"

Natsume hesitates, then replies. "Mn."

A bit too much of my drink goes down and I almost cough. For a second there it sounded like it's not like that for Natsume at all. The curious side of me wants to ask him, but that might be super rude. Natsume's life is none of my business, and for the sake of the argument things must the same for Natsume; he must be on good terms with his family so that it's okay for him to go back home whenever he wants to.

Ema either doesn't notice or chooses not to notice his hesitation. "Arigatou, Natsume-san."

I smile at her, glad that Natsume was able to help her talk things out.

Big brothers for the win!

I haven't been able to contribute a lot to this meeting, but that suits me just fine. This was meant to be a heartfelt talk between two siblings. I'm not meant to be here. I'm not mean to speak, lest I spoil the mood.

I want nothing more than to give Ema and Natsume the moment, especially since they don't live in the same house anymore and probably don't see each other as much as they'd like to. Yet if I get up and leave now I might interrupt them all the same. I should just stay put and pretend to be the wall for now.

I give my cup a shake, only to realize that I've reached the bottom. Furthermore...

I think I need to use the water closet ...

On my lap the cat squirms and jumps away as though having read my inner thoughts. It glances over my shoulder and meows, offering its own commentary on being the third wheel.

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Needless Commentary:

For the non-Japanese speakers, "mo" means "also" or "too," so the title reads like "You too, Natsume?"

Alas, Mai might not have been needed in the conversation between siblings, but she was there to offer Ema her support if needed!

Have you ever unintentionally sat in on an up-close and personal deep talk? I definitely have, and it's so awkward that I'm afraid to breathe and ruin the mood. Hang in there, Mai!

(;° ロ°)