Only Yours

37. Trying

Tamina

The sudden knock against my door has me jumping from my seat and scrunching the note up before chucking it in the bin under the coffee table. I'm not sure why I'm feeling hopeful he decided to come, but I guess it's because he must care enough to do it. Either that, or it's a trick so he can keep me around longer.

To say my nerves are on an all-time high is an understatement, and it's not for a good reason either. As I approach the door, I'm wracking my mind for the best way to start, and it borderlines between shouting at him, which seems like the best way to get this weight off my chest, or ease into it. Whatever happens, my heart sinks at the possibility on how this is going to end.

With a deep breath, I swing the door open to see Brandon stood on the doorstep with his hands relaxed at his sides. Struggling to meet his gaze, I step to the side to allow him in, telling him to head to the sitting room while shutting the door behind me. It's humiliating, knowing that Lucius knows he's done this, and that Florentina will have the satisfaction every time I cross her path—if we ever cross paths again.

"Please, take a seat," he murmurs, but I'm quick to shake my head.

"I'd rather stand, thank you."

Nodding his head in acceptance, he rubs his jaw, having the predicament of how to start instead of me. "I'm going to explain, but first, I got this for you." Fidgeting with his back pocket, he reveals a dark red box, and cracks it open to reveal a slender necklace with a purple pendant on the end. "Do you like it?"

Like it? It's beautiful, and I'm sure he can sense I like it, but it doesn't stop my head from shaking either way.

"Brandon," I start, watching the chain glint in the light, feeling the sudden burn of anger within my gut, "you can't offer me things like this, especially now when you've done wrong. I'm not your type of girl where I'm easily brought or in love with you because you're rich and can pop things like that unexpectedly." Sighing heavily, I tear my gaze away and stammer, "I'm in love with you, for you, and I'm hoping the day you will understand that is soon."

His brows furrow, and I'm thankful he puts it back in his pocket, and the way his eyes harden, I'm ready for a fight.

"I didn't kiss her, nor did I encourage it. I've had her banned from the premises, and I've warned and made it clear for herself and Lucius that they have no business with us, and I'm expecting you to show the same attitude."

Gritting my teeth, I'm unable to hold back my shout. "You're not turning this on me, Brandon. There's a picture of you kissing someone that isn't me in the middle of the street. I would like an explanation, and then you're going to listen to what I have to say." Knowing this may be over the top, I don't refrain myself from saying it. "I don't care if you and your family hate the word no, or are used to getting your own way, but not with me. If you don't like it, the door is that way."

My breaths are ragged at the end, and it's clear he's just as wound up as I am with how his nostrils flare, but he doesn't turn away and leave like I'd semi expected him to, and it brings me some relief.

"The only proof I have is Florentina." He shakes his head with a snort, and I didn't think that was something he could or would do. "Since I know you won't trust a single word out of her mouth—or mine as it seems—I'll have someone send over today's CCTV footage of this morning."

He rapidly taps the screen before holding it silently at his side, and the air feels tense and awkward, but it doesn't stop him from narrowing his eyes on me. "Don't you trust me?"

Guilt ripples in the pit of my stomach, but I'm not feeling guilty for trusting my gut. The words don't hold any emotion that one would have in this situation, and it makes me doubt whether he has any feelings about this conversation at all other than needing to prove a point. The mere thought of that breaks my heart, because if he can't be bothered, then why do I need to be the one to hold everything together when it's doomed to break? Unless I'm wrong and we can somehow pull through.

"Brandon," I whisper, "this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me, can you understand how it made me feel, seeing an image of the man I love kissing someone who wasn't me? It hurt, especially after we shared a special night together." A small wince almost tumbles free when I step back, catching how his eyes go from the faintest of understanding, and then to a coldness I'd never seen in his eyes before.

His eyes rake over me before his brows pinch together. As he goes to speak, his phone dings, and I'm only to assume it's the CCTV footage he requested not long ago.

Assuming correctly, he fiddles with his phone for a few seconds before rotating and holding it out in front of me. My gut turns at the view, seeing how she had openly thrown herself onto him when he'd turned around before he pushes her away, disgust highlighting his face. Anger clouds his features, and judging by how he flings his arm, he's ordering her to leave.

Stashing it in his pocket, he turns to me, and I don't miss how his eyes sweep over me again. "Did he hurt you?"

The conversation about him and Florentina has died, and now it's time for us to talk about what's going to happen now, and what happened with me and Lucius. It's stupid, because nothing happened, but I've got to face it like Brandon has.

Slowly shaking my head with tears in my eyes, I murmur, "Brandon. . . last night, you were a bit rough, and it hurt. Not only that, but you left me. . ."

"You should have told me," he replies in the same manner, and I should've. "Not only that, but we'd also accepted the fact I'm a busy man."

"We did, but I'm not going into that with you because it's over and done with." A deep sigh comes from me. "Although, there are matters that we need to discuss if we're into making this work."

He scrubs his jaw, and the muscle ticks. "Go on."

"Lucius mentioned a woman, Lucinda. . . I want to know who she is, and I want to know the reason you really want to be with me."

Brandon sneers at the floor before flicking his eyes up to me, and they seem devoid of any emotion, and it steals my breath away. "You're going to trust the words of the man who's caused nothing but trouble since he's met you, over the man who's trying to love you."

Trying to love. . .

"Trying to love?" I throw back, and he swallows, hard. "Yes, I do trust his words in a way because everything he's said has made sense this far. I saw how you acted when he mentioned her name, and he wants me to believe I'm one of your possessions." My eyes try to harden but fail. "Is he telling the truth?"

He paces the room, and a rough sound comes from him as he debates on how to start his reply. Hell, I'm not even sure if I'm ready to hear what he's going to say. Either way, whatever comes out of his mouth next, I doubt I'll be expecting it.

"Tamina, you're the first person to make me feel as if I'm able to be who I want to be, and it doesn't feel normal. I've had my role to play, I was ready to marry Florentina, and then you wormed your way in without even trying."

It hurts to know I've discomforted him, but he pursued me, not the other way around. I had told him how I'd felt along the way, and even put up with his family's attitude for him, and Florentina. . . now I'm going to hear how much I've changed his life not for the best.

"Brandon, you're the one who came after me, asking for more, and I'd accepted because I wanted to see that I could find love, and I did. . . but at the cost of belittling myself, and having to hear how uncomfortable I've made you—"

"Damn it, Tamina. I like control, it's all I've ever known. Either be the most powerful man in the room or roll over for those who are better than you. People, work, and what I want is what I get. I like being dominant in the bedroom, it makes me feel in control, I hate feeling otherwise—" His eyes find mine before he paces once again and drags his hands through his hair— "when I met you, it was strange to see that you didn't know anything about sex, or men, and restraint is difficult for me, especially when it feels as if I'm losing control."