Cryptic As Hell (A Short Story Compilation)

Short Story #1: Inferno Rain

I was with Steve, storming out of taco bell, before they noticed we got an extra plate of nachos for free. We didn't realize it was raining cats and dogs outside, so I kinda had to open my umbrella in a hurry. I almost broke it, as I pressed the button with a bit too much force loaded on my finger. Thank God I didn't. So now there I was, with my yellow umbrella opened, as Steve waited with his briefcase over his head to not get it wet, staring at the rain.

"C'mon bro, get in. Let's pretend we're Ted Mosby and the mother."

He didn't move an inch. Simply kept starring at the rain.

"Something the matter?" I asked.

"There's a pattern."

"What?"

"There's a pattern bro, I swear."

"The fuck you talking about? A pattern of what?"

I've never seen him look so nervous before. Something odd was going on.

"Look at the rain. All those droplets are the same."

"Ehrm... What?"

"I swear, they're all the exact fucking same thing, man! This is dangerous. They're not supposed to be the same."

"You're tripping, dude. Dangerous to what? It's just water. You'll get wet, that's all."

"It's not just fucking water, okay? I've been having dreams about this for weeks. It's called the inferno rain. An optimized version of acid rain, created by demons to destroy us all."

I was speechless. Steve was the last person on earth, to believe whatever kind of weird shit that was. Maybe it was just a bad drug trip.

"You didn't take mushrooms by any chance, did you?" I asked.

"No, you idiot. I swear I'm not crazy. Look at the rain."

"I'm looking at it. It's literally just water."

But as I said that, all the parked cars in the street burst into flames. And I didn't see any people around, but I could hearscreams.

"The fuck was that?" I asked.

I then notice it. All the droplets were the exact same. Same shape. Same splash sounds. Same green-ish color replacing their normal transparent color.

"Bro... There's a pattern indeed."

"Thank God you fucking noticed it."

"So the inferno rain is real..."

"I know. What the fuck do we do?"

The buildings started collapsing. Steve's briefcase started burning, so he threw it far away, and desperately got under my yellow umbrella. We were scared, hiding under the umbrella from the inferno rain... Wait, the umbrella. How come it's not destroyed, like the briefcase and the cars?

"Oh my God... My umbrella is immune to the inferno rain." I said.

"What?"

"Look at it, bro. It's supposed to be destroyed by now. And yet here we are."

I saw a spark on Steve's eyes, as I uttered that last sentence.

"You're telling me... We have a chance?" He asked.

"Yes. It's up to us. I don't know why, but with this umbrella, we're untouchable... Let's kill those motherfuckers." I replied, with an unfazed grin across my face. And then we started walking, with the inferno rain pouring down on my umbrella. Two average dudes, destined to destroy the evil minds of the demons who control this world... Oh, and by the way, we know you're reading this, you corporate evil motherfuckers. You're gonna pay : )