HIATUS// Ride 'Em Cowboy || Striker X Reader 18+

I Can't

(TW: DRUGS, OVERDOSE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS)

"Just get it out your system..." "Pill diet, pill diet, if they give you a new pill, then you will buy it..."

My breath hitched and I felt myself breathing harder as I heard a knock on the door, Stolas began to walk away towards the door answering it. I became hyperfocused on the sounds of clocks ticking, the sound of the TV, and Stella complaining in another room. The soft chimes of Stolas's talons against the floor. Soon all the voices were flooding my head, the gang was there concerned and wide-eyed, I quickly stood up and ran attempting to find a place to get out. Checking all the windows and doors, none of which are unlocked, I hear the gang close behind calling out to me my breath is cold as ice and a sweaty shiver runs down my back. I clutch onto my belongings closely before I run to the balcony, slamming open the doors while running to the edge. Everything was so loud,  the bustling cars, the oncoming footsteps, and the yelling for me. I jumped.

I felt myself hit something, it wasn't super hard, so I opened my eyes. I landed on one of the cushioned patio seats only slightly sore from the fall, I continued to run climbing over the gated entrance and running towards lust. Maybe my boss will help me, I can't stop my heart racing so fast it feels like it's going to shoot out of my chest. I didn't stop running my phone being blown up with messages and calls, an hour passed of me continuously running finally ending up at the club. I run past all the other hellborn, and to my boss's office not bothering to knock. "Hey, I- need help." Huffing in between each word, Blade chuckles and walks over a tab laced in between his fingertips, he tuts before grabbing my face, "Looks like you could really use this about now lovebug.~" I open my mouth and whine at him waiting for the tab, he smirks "Work for me tonight, and you can have as MUCH as you want.~" 

I nod quickly as he places the tab in my mouth, I allow it to dissolve against my tongue and swallow, wanting to numb the pain throughout my body and mind. 

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Not long after you had stumbled to your dressing room, raiding your closet and changing into the most slutty outfit you could find, unable to focus you ask for your boss's help. He came into the sight of you half naked struggling to tie your bra. Believe it or not, he had never tried anything with you, but he was quite touchy and flirty, especially with his best employee. Before walking out on stage he forces your mouth open shoving a few pills in making you swallow, your vision slowly becoming more and more foggy. "Take your pills like a good little bug.~" He smacks your ass and scoots you out of the room. By this point you were so fucked up you couldn't tell where you were, walls looked to be breathing. The lighting was so bright for it being too dark outside, it was all hypnotizing. 

Finally taking the stage you stumble around on the pole, roll around on the floor, and throw yourself everywhere, nobody in here cared they were only here for one reason. Heavy breathing, brushed legs and arms, and pupils the size of planets. Then the portal came, and you could hear your heartbeat, it was so loud like a bomb exploding in your ears, the room began to spin so fast and you ended up being so sweaty that it had created a small pool of it on the stage. All went black. You were overdosing, you had started seizing, and everyone began to freak out, the whole gang hovering over you freaked out quickly taking you to a rehab center the same one Blitz's sister was at. 

Hours passed and you were still out, even after the Naloxone you were only up for a second before passing out. In the nicest way to put it, you looked rough.

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I feel my eyes shoot open, I begin to breathe heavily, looking around I felt like shit, I need my pills where are they. Where are my fucking pills, shit. I get up and look through my stuff finding them luckily I had them in a hidden portion of my purse, I quickly scarf them down taking two, before I look around noticing I'm at a rehab center. "Fuck no." You knew whoever brought you here would see that you already had a record here, due to your parent's abuse you had started on pills when you were younger, Millie had gotten you here the first time and got you clean. 

I don't want this, I need them. I can't do this. Satan kill me. It hurts. I need more.

I change into my clothes again and grab my stuff, I notice my phone is missing. 'What where is it?!' I look around for a second before frantically taking another pill, feeling the first two sink into my brain. I sigh and decide my phone is not that important, I slowly open the door and peer around the corners, no sign of anyone. I crept out slowly and walked down the hallways towards the front door. Once I made it to the front I froze.

Millie

Moxxie

Blitz

Loona

Stolas

....

Striker...

They all turned their heads to me, a horrid look on their faces, and a worried look on Strikers. I ran again away, I heard them running after me again, I couldn't breathe, I was having an attack, and I could feel my legs shaking as the last pill set in. I ram my body into one of the windows, breaking the glass, some shards sliding into my skin allowing my blood to drip, I couldn't feel it. I look down, at the 7th floor, I gasp and look around hearing Striker calling my name, the gang close behind him. They all froze looking at me in the window opening standing there, time felt like it stopped. "DO-DO'NT FUCKING MOVE I'LL- I'M GOING TO JUMP!" I threatened them, but they backed away, I couldn't make eye contact with Striker, there were so many emotions flowing through my body. I pull out my little baggie, two pills left. Right in front of them, I take the pills out, "Please don't!" Millie begs, "Y/N STOP!" Loona whines, "YOU DON'T NEED THEM!" Blitz yells through tears, "Let us help you." Stolas coos.

"Darlin'-" Striker begins as he steps closer, "DON'T." I cry out at him, putting my hand at him, I slowly put the pills in my mouth and swallow. They all draw closer, "I'LL JUMP RIGHT FUCKING NOW, BA-BACK THE FUCK UP!" I yell my voice cracking my breath hitching as I slowly back out more of the window, on the edge ready to jump. ready to finally put my mind at peace. 

I felt my legs weaken, my mind beginning to go blank, "Darlin' let me help you." Striker speaks softly but doesn't move an inch, I find myself struggling to keep my eyes open. "I can't promise ya I'll be friends with these vermin, but I can promise I'll be there for ya every step of the way. We don't got to stay here, let me take care of you." His words were sincere, "No- Liar." I slowly let myself begin falling, feeling myself blacking out. 

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:)