DEEP BREATHS | lando norris

CHAPTER 5

LANDO

Ilma's been taken to the medical center but from what I know it's alright with her. Even though it didn't look like it. Her car didn't look like she could be just fine. I've seen the accident several times now. With every one more that I see it, it is becoming more and more painfull to watch. Her voice tells me she was scared. Damn scared. I don't know why it hurt my soul when I heard it. Now I've locked myself up in my driver room thinking about what happened.

The race continued after the accident. And I've won it. But I feel weirdly not okay with that. It felt different. Not to have her racing against me. Or anywhere on the grid. It felt empty. Like something's missing.

Not something. Someone.

Damn my mind for thoughts like this. She still annoyed hell out of me. With the qualifying. With her attitude. I wanted to congratulate her after the qualifying but I felt like it would be too much if I'd do it so I walked away from her instead.

vdiaz: she's okay. I thought you'd wanna know

I read the message right away as it is sent to me. I read it about twenty times to make sure that I'm reading all the words properly and in good order. She's okay. God. My mind feels relieved and the pressure on my chest that I had and didn't even notice lets go. I sigh out loud and look at the ceiling with my thoughts still tunning around my head.

I feel weird. It's almost like I'm caring for her. I've never done that before and the feeling is insanely out of pocket. But she's a driver and a human being too so that's normal that I felt bad when the accident happened and that I really wanted to know if she's alright. That's the only reason. Because she's still Ilma Angelov. Nothing changed here. I still hate her.

☆

It's not even a month later when I see Ilma back on grid. It's actually two weeks later, on the next Grand Prix, the one before summer break. She seems to be glowing with confidence which I didn't expect. Usually people after having such accidents are anxious and scared to get back into the car. But not her. I forgot.

"Mate, are you even listening?" I hear Oscar's voice bringing me back to our previous conversation.

I bring my eyes back at him, trying to take my mind off of Ilma and to completly focus on what my team mate is saying.

"Now I am." I give him a smile and Oscar just smirks and look at the direction where Ilma's at. He raises his brows as he looks back at me with a sly smile. "No." I immidiately say.

"Oh, I think otherwise. Why'd you be looking out for her that much, huh?" Oscar crosses his arms on his chest and looks at me, ready to hear the answer.

"Let's not forget that I am not an emotionless beast that wouldn't give a flying fuck about someone who has just gotten back from hospital after an accident."

"Even if the 'someone' means Ilma Angelov?" he still pushes the line a little further with this question. A sly smile of his even widens when I take my time to make uo an excuse.

"She's still a human being." I say eventually because I have nothing better on my mind.

"No shit Sherlock." Oscar smirks and then grabs me by arm as we start walking in the direction of Ilma and Vic who is most of the time accompaning her. I don't know how that works that they're seen together that much. I don't know how they tolerate each other.