Denial (wlw) (gxg)

Chapter 1, Teyanas night

*Teyanas POV*

I couldnt fall asleep, it was around 3 am and I had class the next day. My apartment was so small it felt like I was suffocating.

I had just ran out of melatonin meds and now I was just left here with my thoughts, and for some reason, they were about her.

The worst part is that she's my roommate, Leah.

I just layed there. Trying sleep with my head spinning around her. I looked to the left to see our messy ass nightstand and Leah sleeping on her bed peacefully.

Her curly, long, light brown hair spreading across the bed. She was faceing tords me as she slept on her side. I couldn't help but imagine us together.

I turned on my back, staring at my ceiling, contemplating life. I continued to day dream about her, my face turning red as my mind flushed with those thoughts.

I pushed that sinful thinking out my mind before turning back to look at her. Why am I this way? I'm not gay so why do I feel like this tords her? This what most people feel in friendships, right?

I continued to question my existence while I looked at her sleeping peacefully, wishing I could be next to her and cuddle her. As soon as I thought about it, I stopped myself from thinking like that.

I sat up in my bed, still energetic. At this point I just gave up on sleeping, we normally wake up at around 4:30am and it was already almost 3.

Y'know what I did?

I sobbed, I cryed my eyes out.

I didn't really know why I did. Maybe it was me thinking like this, thinking like a fag. Or it could have just been the fact I couldn't go to sleep, I've always been a crybaby.

All I knew was one thing,

I am straight.
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*An hour later*

I covered my eyes with my hands and slammed myself back on the bed, now I was lying down. My eyes looked blood shot, you could believe I started to do crack.

I saw the sun rise through the blinds as a dim light shined on me. Class starts in 2 hours and I had gotten no sleep,

awsome.

Leah still wasn't awake, it was 4 am and I had 30 minutes before she woke up. I slowly stood up from my bed and walked tords my desk to grab some cigarettes.

I walked tords the balcony with the pack and a lighter in my hand, I leaned on the railing as I took a cig out and lit it. The smoke followed the wind, you could barley see it in the sunrise.

I watched the sun came up and the city awoke. It's weird how every time I stand on this balcony. Something inside me,

Tells me to jump.
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I smoke for around half an hour before turning around just to see Leah staring at me, still laying down under her dark blue covers.

The second I saw her emerald green eyes meeting mine I quickly dropped the cigarette off the balcony and tried to shove the pack of cigs in my pocket, scrambling to get my shit together.

After all, I did tell her I quit smoking a long time ago and I did, well, I tried.

Its strange, the fact that every time I try to quit it never works. Deep inside of me it reminds me of the feeling of smoke filling my lungs and how relieving it felt to let everything go in that puff of air.

I huffed that last breath of smoke before looking back at Leah.
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"Morning,"