Been planning on doing this for years, ig finally got the guts. I'd prefer to be anonymous. If someone does read this, Thankyou:).
Basic info:I'm currently 20(ik,too old to be doing this)
I'm studying design in a college far from home thankfully.
I am currently home for winter break.
My parents are strict. And emotionally detached.
I'm gonna write everything I want to here, I'm not gonna overthink about anything.
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Today started moody, I had a plan to go out with old friends that I hadn't seen in years. One of them I had a very toxic relationship with, I've grown out of it. I got self conscious about everything, my weight hair face car clothes. A big l. So i was skeptical to go. My mum to didn't know I had already cancelled when she came to my room demanding I cancel cause she wants to hangout.
Giving me a headache recounting lol.
Basically it went, I cancelled friends plan, mum plan got cancelled, tried to make a plan with a cousin, she ghosted me lol. Friends shifted plan to next day because I cancelled, mum said no, I said okay. She asked me why I don't have friends, I didn't say shit obviously
She mentioned my depression she thought lasted 2 years in 11th,12th. I didn't know that she knew , she said she doesn't know how I got out of it alive. I looked in disbelief. Had zero clue she knew. Well it was kinda obvious, I was always crying. Kinda disappointed she didn't intervene even when she knew. I wanted to scream that I don't have friends because I'm scared of getting attached to them, not because I have attachment issues but because mum always makes me leave them so no point in making friends.
Goodnight
