Love My Wings

Chapter 21

Voicemail, 2:56 PM: "Hey, Rory, it's Dixie. I've called you a hundred times but I guess you don't want to talk. I just want to know if you're alright, so call me when you can, love ya-"

Voicemail, 7:45 PM: "ROSYBOO, WHY WON'T YOU PICK UP? Are you okay? I've tried calling and texting you, but you're not answering. If you don't get back to me in the next hour I SWEAR I'll hunt you down."

Voicemail, 8:20 PM: "Rory, dear, what's going on? I haven't heard a peep from you in the past week. Your brother is very worried, he's on his way to your apartment. Please let me know if you need anything,"

Rory twisted the black door knob sluggishly after hearing a careful knock. His eyes met Radir's aquamarine blue ones. His brother threw himself into his arms. Radir's wool coat covered him warmly. He was so cold. So, so cold. The thin material of his T-shirt and flannel pajama pants did not help in this weather, but he felt colder than ever. He was cold inside and out. He was cold to the very last vein of his heart.

"Are you crazy?! Where have you been? Everyone's been looking for you, I didn't want to bother you but I knew something was off." Rory said nothing as he looked down glumly.

"You're so pale, you look like you haven't eaten in days. Where the heck are your socks?! If you don't take care of yourself you're gonna get hypothermia and anemia at the same time." Still, Rory did not budge.

Radir caressed his face with his thumb and lifted his chin gently. "I don't know what you and Mom have talked about. I would say I understand how you feel... But I don't. I have no idea what you're going through. Just know I'm here for you, even if you don't want to talk about it." There was a short silence. "I can feel when there's something wrong with you. You know that right?"

Rory nodded, lifelessly. "Okay," Radir replied. "Sit down, I'll go cook something up for you." Something came on like the flick of a switch in Rory's brain. It had been so long since he had let himself be taken care of. Since he had felt like someone else was responsible for him. For just a moment he felt like a million pounds were lifted off his shoulders, but the thought of Lei pierced right through him like a poisoned dagger.

As he pulled the string of his necklace to free his guitar pick he realized, I never thought I'd be 18 and standing on a stage, part of an all-girls band, with dyed hair, a dead mother, and no fucking idea what happened in my life. He was so overwhelmed, full of adrenaline and confusion.

"All right, everything's set up!" They cheered at Maxine's announcement. "On the count of three, we're gonna put on a show like it's the real deal. This isn't a practice, guys, this is a preview of tomorrow." Everyone made eye contact and nodded before the lights went out.

Even as he was playing Lei couldn't help but feel like he was drifting. If anything the music made him feel spacier than usual. His mind was a flowing river. He looked around the empty venue. Its capacity was about a thousand people.

If he were in the crowd Lei would probably have an anxiety attack, but something about performing was like hiding behind a mask, a safe place where nothing could hurt him. Even though he had never done it in front of such a crowd, he knew it would be like that. Magical.

The lights above shone through his eyes. He swung with the rhythm as Maxine's voice gave him goosebumps, reaching every last nerve in his body. Lei smiled at the man behind the bar who looked at them with glittering eyes. I wonder if everyone will look at us like that tomorrow night, he thought.

"You're doing great, Lei!"

"Thank you."

"It's almost as if you were always here," Bonnie added.