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At that time, First had just turned 15 years old.
He didn't know Khaotung yet, but he was already confused about who he was.
He didn't like being around girls, and loved being complimented by his male friends.
Like most teenagers, there were times when he was curious about videos of couples having sex, but he never got aroused while watching them, his curiosity led him to the same videos with same-sex couples.
Let's say he lacked the attention of his family, but that became history for him.
Also, being gay was not his parents' fault. Somehow, but he was not attracted to women.
First has been so quiet since then, self-confused and good at hiding it.
He also didn't stress out easily, people said he never dated because he was so focused on studying, it also happened that First was an honor student so his mom and dad asked him to be more relaxed about school and play like any other teenager.
First knew people like him would be wrong. In fact, most asked for healing like a disease, shunned like an infectious disease and other cruel things.
At his junior high school, he also found out that there was someone like him.
The child was caught dating an adult man, even trapped by the seduction of his seniors who ended up being bullied.
First saw how the student was hit, insulted, and even treated like dirt every day.
First couldn't stand it anymore at that time, even though he planned to be a supporting role in the drama who became a bad student too because he was silent even though he knew there was bullying in his school.
One day, First managed to get a video of the student being bullied, but instead of being investigated, the student was told to transfer because he was caught being gay.
Although he thanked First for trying to help him, First still felt guilty.
Because of this, he didn't want to talk to people who didn't belong, First felt that he wouldn't get anyone's support.
.
.
.
.
"I'll probably go straight to see View after this, can you drop me off around his apartment building?"
First was still trying to get his bike out of the crowded parking lot of the inn, accompanied by the voice of Khaotung who was waiting by the side of the road with his helmet on while explaining that View was actually waiting for him.
"Ride first," First replied.
"Seriously, do you agree? If you don't want to, I can stop at the nearest bus stop later."
First sighed and nodded in agreement, so he quickly asked Khaotung to get on his bike and start the journey home.
Both of them decided to go home this morning, even though they stayed up late last night but not too late anyway, maybe Khaotung and First slept at 2am and woke up at 9am, enough for First to not be sleepy while driving.
First was actually still thinking about View knowing his identity, not knowing what he would do and not knowing how he would behave after learning that First was gay. There was a sense of nervousness, because View was the first person to know his identity.
How View's attitude would be would be a benchmark for First to stay hidden or dare to speak out like Mix.
First couldn't see clearly what View was like, the time they had been friends was still new and View had only shown his kindness so far so First had a little hope that maybe View would look at him without distinction.
"What are your plans for today?" Khaotung asked in such a loud voice.
"Sleep? I'll be very sleepy after I get to the apartment."
"Alright, I'll go home with dinner later."
First no longer answered or looked for other discussions to keep communicating with Khaotung, right now his mind was filled with the possibilities of what would happen if View asked him, what if more people found out and what if Khaotung became one of them?
