Sin For Me

Chapter 27

Back To Avery's Point Of View
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I used to be so utterly obsessed with beauty pageants.

A beauty pageant, for those of you who don't know, is essentially a competition where contestants are judged and ranked in accordance to their physical appearance.
It was basically a contest to determine who was considered the most beautiful.

This was actually very controversial, since people have different standards as to who and what is considered "beautiful".

Fortunately, as time progressed and pageants have evolved, inner beauty has become a majoring factor as well.

For example: What was your personality like?
Did you have any sort of talent, or charisma?

Suddenly all of these things really mattered.
If you didn't have any interesting qualities besides a pretty face, you would be disqualified relatively quickly.

A lot of people are attractive. Not a lot of people are talented.

My family could never afford to sign me up for beauty pageants, despite how badly I wanted to be in one.
I was nothing if not adaptable, so I was able to compromise. Sort of.

I would stand in front of the bulky and dusty television set, with a plastic tiara in hand as I watched other little girls my age compete.

I would practice the poses and the walks.
I would follow along with the dance routines that they had.
I would even practice smiling exactly like they did.

My favourite part was when one of the girls would won, and proceed to proudly hold up their dazzling trophy.
Their heads would be held high, and they would be beaming with pride at their accomplishment and the shiny possession that came along with it.

A tiara and a bouquet of flowers would typically be rewarded too, but the trophy was the real prize.
Like, it would be engraved and everything.

Sometimes they would even kiss it.
I would watch them do this with googly eyed admiration, wishing for my very own trophy.

At the time, I couldn't figure out what my special talent was, but I figured something out.

A big part of pageantry, unfortunately, was knowing how to bring down other girls.

If they looked bad, in comparison you would look great.
If they suddenly became insecure, they would most likely underperform or perhaps drop out of the competition completely because they couldn't handle the pressure.

I watched in completely awe and fascination as the girls commented on each other's dresses, gave each other secret dirty looks and snarled passive aggressive comments.

Of course this isn't a good thing.

Going out of your way to make others feel bad was a bitch move, but it was apart of the game.

So was it nice? Not necessarily.
Was it a successful strategy, a strategy that could get you to win? Most definitely.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

As time went on, I realised that I was good at this "game".
Not the game of pageantry, but the game that came along with being a woman.

Unfortunately, Not everyone is a "girls girl".
Jeez, Especially in high school. Some were very clique-y, very "Mean Girls"-esque.

After years of cheerleading, being the cheer captain and just being a teenage girl in general, dealing with other bitchy women was my area of expertise.
Only if they deserved it, of course.