Lost Atoms

Chapter 6

I still remember my first time seeing a Death Parade.

I'd just left the food shop with Mom. I always looked forward to our Saturday grocery trip, where the scent of freshly baked bread saturated the air. The greens and yellows and reds of different fruits and vegetables sat in wooden bins and barrels. A blackboard hanging overhead announced prices in blue chalk, though it would be another year before I could read what it said.

Mom carried most of the paper bags, filled with stuff like flour, eggs, and chopped brisket, paid for using the little money we had. She had worked as a letter-and-package courier before I came along but stopped working to raise me. We received a small allowance from Council, but it would end when I could work at fifteen.

The bell tinkled above the exit as we left. Mom had given me the most important job a five-year-old could have—she trusted me to carry the sugar.

The sweet, brown crystals, a true treat, could help me stomach any dish. Mom said she'd had a real craving for it when she was pregnant, and that she'd likely passed her taste for it onto me. It wasn't old-world sugar, she would say. But this stuff, made in the factory district of the dome, was the realest sugar we could get.

The sudden thud of eight sets of boots marching in unison thundered around the corner ahead. Coming right for us, they carried a woman high over their heads. She was pretty, like Mom, maybe her age too. She looked to be relaxing on a wooden beam. But something was wrong.

"Why is she sleeping?" I asked, looking up at Mom.

Her face turned even whiter than usual. The wrinkles around her mouth grew deeper as the zoners marched closer. We'd been walking on the pavement, but she hurriedly pulled me to the side of the road. I dropped the tin of sugar and it rolled into the grass.

"Why isn't she moving?" I asked again. There was a whine in my voice as I grew more impatient. Mom never ignored me like this, and I really wanted an answer.

The zoners walked by, showing off the girl like they were proud of her or something. I recognized her now. Fadil, my sometimes-babysitter. Why was she being paraded around like a princess?

Just when I thought they had passed, the ninth zoner, the one with the big gun, turned our way. He pointed it right at Mom.

"Don't think I've forgotten, Metaxus. When we find your husband, he'll be next."

His voice was deep and jarring. Mom squeezed my hand tight so I couldn't run, or even pick up the sugar I'd dropped. I looked up at Mom and her face stayed the same. Why didn't she even blink when the zoner talked about Dad like that?

Though I barely remembered my father, but Mom had told me he had to go away for a while. She'd given me a chain from him, though. A gold piece, with a little airplane.

"Come on," Mom said, pulling my hand when the zoners moved on. Her voice was unusually quiet, unsettling me further. "We should check on Darien."

Fadil's husband was Darien. Although he was nice enough, seeing our neighbours meant seeing their son, Leo. He was a pain in the butt and always crying. On top of that, he couldn't even say my name right. What kid wants to be called Ass-er?

I groaned loudly.

"Hey." My mom leaned down, taking my face in her hands. Her eyes bore into mine. "Compassion is the only thing they can't take from us, no matter how hard they try. Never give up your compassion."

Mom didn't tell me until later that night that Fadil had been so still on the board because she was dead. Why she'd snuck to the Between when she had a well-paying job in medicine was anyone's guess. When I asked about it, Mom looked right in my eyes and offered a thought that I'll never forget.