Always, Yours.|| Hyunho

Chapter 3

As exciting as it was, waiting for Fridays to slip paintings in his locker, and then wait for his adorable reactions, I needed to get closer to him now. The distance between us would only give more chances to others to think they can have him now, and I can't have that. Watching Kim Seungmin smother him with his unnecessary affections and trying to drop not-so-subtle hints about 'wanting to become more than friends' has been frustrating enough. I've never been more grateful to His obliviousness regarding these things.

But it's clear that I need to finally start talking to him again now. Slowly, but surely, I will win him back. It'll be difficult, sure. I wouldn't expect him to make it easy for me after what I did. But he'll have to understand that in the end, there's no one that can ever love him like I do. No one knows him like I do. And I'll make sure that no one can ever have him like I did. I'll win him back, no matter what it takes.

*****

The break time during our shared dance class is when I finally get the opportunity to talk to him. He's sitting on the floor with his back to the mirrored walls, head thrown back in a clear display of exhaustion. I take a minute to admire the view before approaching him. His neck in full display has always been my weakness. The need to go over and kiss it until I've left enough marks on it for everyone to know that he's mine increases tenfold when he finally opens his eyes and looks at me, as if sensing my presence.

He looks taken aback at my blatant staring at first, but then composes himself and gives me a small smile which is a far contrast to the ones he used to give me back when I still had the right to call him mine in front of everyone, before I fucked things up. I try not to dwell on the pain his courteous smile leaves me with for now.

"Hi", I say to him, failing in my pathetic attempts to not sound as breathless as I feel everytime I see him.

"Hey", his response is welcoming, despite the interlaced confusion.

I fidget with my hands, "Uh.. are you taking part in the dance competition next week?". He is, but I couldn't think of anything else to ask him. He doesn't need to know I heard him discussing it heavily with his brother during lunch break when I was supposedly engrossed in my own food with earphones in my ears, with no music playing.

"Yeah, it wasn't easy making the decision since we have exams the same week, but I just can't let the opportunity go. Besides, I think I can balance both even if I have to let go of a few hours of sleep", the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about dancing has always been so exquisitely pretty I couldn't describe it in words even if I had the knowledge of the complete Dictionary.

There are hundreds of things I could say to him in response, but of course my mouth started to betray my mind as I blurted out, "I missed you".

The sparkle instantly left his eyes, making me regret even starting the conversation as I watch him wince at my statement. A mixture of hurt, sadness, and the slightest hint of anger swirled in his eyes as he tried to school his expression. The empty expression he adapted hurt even more than the anger would have. He didn't even trust me enough to show his true emotions anymore.

He turns his face in another direction as if he can't handle even looking at me now after what I said. There's a wry grin on his lips as if he's laughing at his own inside joke, and shaking his head before he finally looks at me again. This time, he does not bother to hide his emotions when he says, "Don't, please."

"Minho, I didn't intend to hurt you, I swear I ju-"

"I don't you didn't, Hyunjin. But, just please, never say that to me again.", I want to go back in time and fix everything. 

"I'm sorry, I really am!"

"Stop. Just don't.", it's the harshest whisper said in the smallest voice that makes me almost cry. I hold it in. The tears have to wait until I'm finally alone.