ɪɴᴋᴇᴅ ʙy ᴀ ᴍᴀꜰɪᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ( ᴊᴜɴɢᴋᴏᴏᴋ ꜰꜰ )

chap 10

Y/n

I weep into Doggo's fur. I know it's not fair to let my sadness flare so easily on the little guy, but I can't stop thinking about what jungkook said in the warehouse.

My Family was working with the chinese .

My Family helped to kill jungkook's parents.

He hates me. He wants to use me, to hurt me, and that's the only reason he made the offer. It's nothing to do with the lust we shared, the heat....Even that's a lie.

He was probably secretly laughing as he went down between my legs, some warped form of punishment, of power. It's not what I thought it was.

He wants to take his pound of flesh, whatever the heck that means. I thought he was going to save me from a monster. But it turns out he is the monster.

I'm in a hotel room, a guard on the door and another one standing at the first-story window. Jackson doesn't want any chance I'm going to slip away before the so-called big day.

The thought of it makes me want to puke, thinking of it in those terms, big day, as though there's any love or affection in this whatsoever.

It's all pain. It's all sick crap.

But there's no savior. The bird in flight is a lie.

I was never going to get out of here.

The tears get fiercer and Doggo whines, snuggling closer to me. I try to stop, if only for my dog's sake, but the tears push through my eyes like hot acid and slide over my face.

I remember what Jackson said.

I did it, pulled the trigger myself.

He didn't just order my parents' death. He did it.

"I'm sorry, boy," I whisper, sitting up and stroking him in my lap. "I have to be strong. I get that. I just...It's all so wrong, all so unfair. I thought we shared something real and...." I stop, biting down, realizing this isn't like the other times I talk aloud to Doggo .

The guards can probably hear me.

Maybe they'll think I've got my hands on a cellphone, and I'm trying to call for help.

Standing, I walk into the ensuite and splash water on my face. My reflection stares at me bleakly, my eyes red, my cheeks are flushed from the sadness. My hair is in disarray.I don't look like a woman excited about her wedding. I look broken down, beaten, and I hate it.

Be strong, I scream in my mind.

But my mind has other plans.

Despite learning the truth about jungkook , I can't stop thinking about him no matter what I hear. I imagine the make believe scene on the porch over and over where I'm painting him.

His savage smirk turned into a loving smile.

I imagine our children, happy footsteps running, and sunlight glinting on the pool as my man plays with them. I think of a thousand impossible things.

It's more than that. I shouldn't want any of this, not now that I know the truth. I should push it all away as the madness it is. I should scream until my freaking vocal cords snap if that's what it takes to push him out of my head.

But it's so difficult to match the two versions of Jungook.

I can't forget the taste of his lips, the pressure as he pushed against me. I can't forget the way his hands sunk greedily into my flesh.

He was faking it, fine, but it was so convincing.

Back in bed, I stare down at the tattoo. The bird looks so feeble now, so pointless.