ɪɴᴋᴇᴅ ʙy ᴀ ᴍᴀꜰɪᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ( ᴊᴜɴɢᴋᴏᴏᴋ ꜰꜰ )

chap 14

Y/n

"They're outside my place now," Izzy has a smile in her voice, her tone joking. "Hell, this is like a spy movie or something. Maybe I'll get into a super cool car chase." I'm about to tell her to take it more seriously. There are lives at stake.But then I stop myself.

Surely it's better she's approaching it like this, with a positive attitude, even if it could seem out of place. It's better than driving herself nuts worrying about what's going to happen. At least she has guards. At least she's being watched over.

"I can't believe it," she goes on, referencing the story I just told.

Everything that happened tonight...no, technically, it's last night now. I sit in the telephone room in a big armchair,
with Doggo in my lap, snoozing softly. The windows are night-dark, and yet I don't feel tired, too pumped with adrenalin to sleep.

"I know," I say. "I can't either. It all happened so fast. When he charged into the room, it was like... It's hard to explain. One second he'd broken the glass. The next, we were running across the fields. The fight and the gunshots and everything, it went like that." I snap my fingers.

"It must've been so scary," she mutters, her voice low.

Izzy and I have been friends long enough for me to sense the change in her mood.

"What is it?" I ask.

She sighs. "It seems so silly to bring it up, considering everything that's happening."

"What?"

"I guess I just want to know why you didn't tell me."

"Tell you what?"

She laughs humorlessly. "Come on, Y/n. Do you really expect me to believe you and jungkook have been together for a few days... not even that? And then, all of a sudden, he decides to risk a war to save you?"

I sit back in my chair, a sense of surrealness touching me like I'm going to fall through the cushions and drop away from this house, land in the hotel bed, and wait for my wedding day.

"I know," I say softly. "It sounds impossible."

"So...."

"It's the truth," I tell her. "I swear, Izzy. You know I'd never lie to you. The first time we met was at the party. I'd never seen him before. Obviously, I know who jungkook freaking Jeon is, but I'd never met him, been around him,anything."

She pauses. "That's...that's amazing. You must've made one hell of an impression."

I dwell on her words for a moment, trying to puzzle them out. The only thing I haven't told Izzy is about all the crazy thoughts rushing through my mind, all the temptation, and the dreams of the future.

I haven't told her how I couldn't stop thinking about having a home together, a family, happy footsteps running through a happy house.

"I like him," I murmur, which is the world's biggest understatement. "I really like him. I hope he feels the same."

"Y/n, he started a war for you. I think it's safe to say he feels the same."

I almost tell her exactly what I mean. I know it's reasonable to assume he cares about me on some level. I remember the way he looked at me as he was applying the tattoo, the light in his eyes, the fierce possessiveness.

But what if I started talking about kids? A family? What if he doesn't want any of that?

"Oh, there's something else," I dryly laugh because it's better than crying and letting out the howling pain. "Jackson admitted to killing my parents. Himself, I mean. He pulled the trigger."

"Jeez." Izzy lets out a long breath. "I'm so sorry, Y/n.
That's awful."

"I knew it was him anyway." I grip the arm of the chair,
digging my fingernails in. "But to hear him brag about it,
about being the one who actually pulled the trigger... yeah,
it makes me want to do some pretty nasty stuff. I won't lie."

"As it should," Izzy snaps. "That man deserves all of that and worse. I can't believe anybody works with him."

"I guess it's better than the alternative - than this war." Izzy says nothing for a few moments, letting my mind drift to when Jungkook gets home. The way he kissed me was so passionate, so urgent.

It was like before when he went down between my legs...

But what if he wants more this time?

What if he wants to go all the way?

"Izzy," I say quietly. "I think I need some advice. About...
you know what."

"Sex, you big baby?" Izzy giggles, her tone playful, letting me know she's supportive and only joking. "It's okay. You can say the word."

"Fine, then," I say, letting out a laugh. "Yes. Sex. What if he wants it later? What am I going to do?"

"Well, firstly, do you want to have sex with him?" It takes me a second to answer. Not because of any hesitation. Not because I have to think about it.

But the true answer would make me scream down the phone. It would make me yell yes repeatedly like my center is turning my words into desperate cries for attention,closeness, and a life.

"Yes," I say as quietly and calmly as I can. "I do. What we did - the time we shared in the office - made me want it even more. But when I get down to it, I'm just so worried.
I've got no idea what I'm doing."

"This answer might make you groan," Izzy says. "But the best thing you can do is whatever feels right at the moment. Go with the flow. Let him lead the way and respond however feels best. Because yeah, sure, I could invent a bunch of horse crap about tickling his toes or doing a funny dance or whatever -."

I laugh, interrupting her. "A funny dance?"

"Or whatever," she goes on, laughing along with me. "But the truth is, everybody is unique. Every relationship has its own flow. So I'd say the best thing to do is...nothing,
essentially. Just see what happens. I know that might not be very helpful."

"No, it is," I say hurriedly, even as anxiety twists through my gut. "I'll try." I bite down, leaving the last part unsaid.

I'll try...but there's a very real chance I'll fail.

Will jungkook still want me?

Maybe he's brought me here to become a casual sexual partner, nothing more, nothing like what I want.

Once he learns the truth, he might let me go.

💋
Do it guys ;)