Project 43: Healing

Not going to be okay

His life was over before it could even begin. All the hopes and dreams Elias had kept in a small, tightly secured box deep in his heart where even he couldn't find them most of the time, shattered before his very eyes. The tiny cottage in a field, a small apartment by the ocean, learning to feel, falling in love, making mistakes, maybe even growing old, all the dreams Elias hadn't even dared to say out loud ran off like wild horses.

Elias let out a deep breath and sat down on the couch. Sam was still staring at the man, not knowing what to do or say. He was trying to figure out whether he should leave or just sit there. He already knew he wouldn't dare get any closer to Elias when he was unpredictable like that. He knew how the man fought.

"Hey, man," Sam said carefully after observing Elias spiraling deeper and deeper into his thoughts while staring ahead with an empty look on his face.

Elias didn't react. He heard Sam talking but didn't register it until a few moments later. Slowly he turned his head over to the side to look at his friend who looked weird, like he was waking up a wild beast.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sam asked slowly to which Elias didn't react at all. He just slowly turned back to stare ahead.

Just a while ago Elias had found joy in his emotions, even in pain and loneliness he was grateful to be able to feel. At that moment, however, he wanted nothing more than to shut back down, to stop it from hurting again, to run away.

Steve ran into the room a couple of minutes later after Friday had alerted him of the news. The story was spreading across the world faster than a plague. Everything was backed up by previous research, compromised Shield files, and military records. It was waterproof.

"Elias," Steve called from the next room over before he ran in. Sam turned to look at his friend filled with gratitude. He really didn't know how to handle the situation and Steve seemed to know a lot more about the solider than anyone else.

Steve glanced at the TV screen in shock but quickly turned back to look at his brother who hadn't answered. Steve carefully walked over to Elias and tried to put himself in the soldier's line of sight.

"Elias, what can I do?" Steve asked fully aware that he wouldn't be getting an answer.

Instead, Elias slowly got up from his seat and turned to face Steve who quickly scrambled up to his feet. Elias' face was void of any emotions, something Steve hadn't missed in the past year.

In a flash Elias' fist had collided with Steve's jaw. The supersoldier instinctively took a step back just in time to dodge Elias' other fist. It had been a while since someone hit Steve hard enough for him to bleed. Just three weeks earlier he had fallen off a building and survived with minimal injuries.

"Elias please, it's going to be okay," Steve tried to reason as his brother kept on throwing punches, most of which Steve was able to block. Steve tried to tell Sam to leave and the two had a long and intense non-verbal conversation which ended in Sam standing by the doorway, scared and ready to jump in if Steve asked him to.

"It's not going to be okay!" Elias screamed finally breaking his stone-cold expression. The sound rocked Steve's defenses for long enough for Elias to kick him in the gut, blowing the air out of his lungs while sending Steve flying through the glass coffee table.

"It's not going to be okay. Ninety years I have suffered waiting for a time when I could live. Ninety fucking years! The second things start looking better for the first time in a God damn century this happens!" Elias yelled. He felt as if his blood had been replaced with pure burning rage that pumped through his system. Elias was distracted enough by his emotions to lose focus for just long enough for Steve to kick his feet off from under him.