How To Disappear | Charles Leclerc

IV

"Will you continue?" She asks me and I nod.

"So he started saying how much of a bitch I am and my best friend is not how I am, but then his tone changed saying that 'you're not like your best friend and that's what hurts me, I thought I could find a similar girl to you but no' I will forever remember those words and that night in general. I was left speechless not knowing what I'm supposed to say or do 'will you tell me why you're doing this to me' he said while he was looking at me, I didn't answer, I was unaware of that part of him, I didn't know he had a soft spot. 'What do you mean?' I asked him after a while of silence 'you're driving me insane and I can't handle the fact that I have to keep myself away from you' he said and I was truly flabbergasted, I didn't expect these words to come out of his mouth, 'why?' was all that escaped my mouth 'because you like my brother' he said and I chuckled, I didn't like Arthur, I loved him like he was my brother, I would never see him as anything other than my best friend Artie, 'Arthur and I are just friends' I say, a smile on his face growing, he started leaning towards me, 'I should go' I was saying over and over again and to him and to myself but no, I couldn't get myself to get my ass off that bench and get the hell away from him, but I wasn't thinking logically. He was using his hands, putting my hair away from my face, you know looking up and down to my lips and eyes. 'I know you deserve better but I'm willing to change everything for you' he said and then pulled me into a kiss, my first kiss, that night altered my brain chemistry." I say, Adelina is left with her mouth open.

"You kissed your best friends boyfriend?" She asks and I nod, disgusted of myself.

"The thing is that my feelings for him were burning inside me, not making me think clearly and that's why I hated him so much, because I thought I couldn't have him. It was a soft nice kiss, I pulled away a little later, got up and left, he was telling me to get back, but I didn't badge, he was calling me and texting me for the rest of the night. I was still out, waiting for my dad, crying, thinking of what I just did and why I did it, why I didn't just leave, I couldn't find any reason, thoughts of killing myself were running through my mind and all that made me forget the fact that my dad is supposed to pick me up. I was calling my dad, over and over again, no answer, I called my sister" I say and take a deep breath.

"We can stop if you'd like" she says reassuringly and I shake my head.

"She was crying, telling me that my dad isn't going to pick me up any time soon because he's in the hospital, dead, doctors trying to bring him back to life, I ran to the hospital, thank god Monaco isn't that huge of a city and I was there in like 20 minutes. He crashed, coming to pick me up, some truck drove into him, I was crying the rest of the night, since I had no one else other than my dad, Pascale was basically my mother, she took care of us like we were her own children when my dad was going to races, my birth mother was a bitch, she was in Brazil, I had seen her like once or twice in my life, but now that my dad was dead she got the custody, so after the funeral she came and picked me and my sister up, going to Brazil, not even getting to say goodbye to my second family. Things with my mum were horrible, toxic boyfriends that treated us like shit, she never acted like an actual mother to us, she was never there, we were growing up on our own in a country such as Brazil, hard life, my sister and I were working and doing illegal shit all because we needed money, my dad was rich but we couldn't get any of his money, we had to be 18 to get everything he left for us, so until my sister was 18 we lived like shit, years went by, me calling Pascale but no answer, ever, sending mails and letters, literally anything, but never got a response, until one day, I still have that letter, it was saying 'Leave me alone and don't ever contact me again, I can't believe I ever even thought you were a good girl' and some other shit I don't remember, sent from Charles. I never contacted him ever again, nor his family" I say and she looks at me confused.