TV Static | Sal x Reader

Prologue

          "Perhaps she needs to see a therapist?" My mom suggested to my dad as they stood in front of the brown square kitchen table. 

"You think that I'm about to spend my hard earned money just so she could talk to someone with a degree?! You're bat-shit crazy." My dad huffed back in response. "There's nothing wrong with her! She's just dramatic."

I sat at the wooden table as they argued about me. I've sat in this wooden chair for so long that my butt is starting to hurt.

I have been feeling things for awhile, things like feeling bad for myself and the life that I live, feeling like I wasn't good enough for everyone around me. Life started to feel like a chore, but unlike a chore, I didn't have a choice on whether I wanted to sit it to the side or not. It was at this point I decided to talk to my mom about these feelings, and this is what led to the events happening now.

I finally decided to open up to someone. Worst mistake I've ever made. She told the reason as to why I feel like this, my dad. I understand that she's worried for her daughter, but is she really that blind? I wish she would've kept that between us two, because she made things worse. Now they're yelling at each other and he probably thinks even worse of me than he did before, since he thinks that I'm just faking for attention.

"Why would she be faking?! Come on Mattie. Be realistic." My mom started off strong, then used a softer tone. Mom always does that when she is trying to calm him down, because right now he's obviously getting angry. She uses a softer tone and calls him by the nickname she gave him when they were young and in love, 'Mattie'. His actual name is Matthew.

"I'll tell you why, because she's trying to escape life's responsibilities, that's why. She is a coward who makes up lies just so her life can be easier than it already is. I swear, she wants to be treated like some high and mighty fucking princess!" My dad raised his voice and threw his arms into the air. "So, how about you be realistic! I mean think about it, what could possibly be making her feel depressed?! She has a roof over her head, clothes on her back, and food in her stomach. Many kids would be delighted to have those things, I'd say she's being ungrateful." I think he said that last part with spite, It felt like he meant to stab me with his words, and it worked. I mean it's not about what he said, but it's about how he said it, that is what hurt me. But this isn't the first time he has said something hurtful towards me or about me. You can't break something that's already broken.

Tears threatened my eyes. What did I do to make him hate me so much? I'm the only girl out of three children and the youngest. You'd think a dad would be happy to finally have a little girl who he could love and protect, but no, not Matthew. He is the exact opposite. From what my two older brothers told me, he wasn't that happy when he found out that I was a girl. And as long as I have been alive, it didn't feel like my brothers wanted me around much either. They're like my dad's sidekicks, they pick on me whenever they want to and dad never says anything about it. When my mom tries to stand in and say something about their behavior, dad just buds in and just says that "boys will be boys". 

He's the type to think that women are only good for making babies. I think that he's sexist and he's stuck in the 1920s. One time, my mom suggested that she should start working because of some rough patches that we were going through financially and he was absolutely against the idea. Ever since, (and before then) she's just been a stay at home mom.

 I truly believe that she is unhappy. If I was her, I'd feel like I'm wasting my life with this horrible excuse of a man. I would have been left him in the fucking trash where he belongs, I really don't know what she saw in him or why she's still with him even. Just thinking about him and how he never considers how he makes other people feel, just makes me so incredibly angry.

Sometimes when me and mom are alone, we have conversations, deep ones. These conversations make me feel listened to. Something I've never had before with my dad nor my brothers. During one of our sessions of conversating, I asked her if she was happy. It seemed as if she tried to beat around the question or even completely ignore it. But I didn't push the question any longer because the way she was acting, was kinda the answer to my question.

 When she told dad about my perspective of life, I know she had good intentions, she just wanted to help. But I guess she forgot who her husband is.

"Ungrateful? Mattie...I know she is more than grateful to have these things, but sometimes that's just not enough to make a person truly happy.." Mom sighed, "Sometimes it's the environment in which the person is in. I'm thinking that maybe...if you and the boys were just a little more kind to her, she'd be feeling better."

Every time she used his nickname, it felt like he put his guard down, more and more. But suddenly he turned to me and the atmosphere thickened again, it looked like he had hatred in his eyes. That's all I see when he looks at me.

"Y/n." He said sternly, his voice bringing me back to the present. "What's wrong with you, huh? This whole time I've been talking to your mother and not you, you do know that you're a part of this conversation too? Do you finally wanna say something?" He moved closer to my face. I feel scared, he has a very intimidating aura. 

I've heard of the 'fight, flight, or freeze' saying before. For some reason my body tends to take on the freeze part of that saying. So in response I froze. I didn't say anything. All I can and will do is let my head hang down and tense up my muscles, I am sweating profusely and my hands feel clammy.

"Y/n, answer me, I don't feel like playing this god damn quiet game.." He said once more and then paused, giving me a chance to speak. I just want this to be over and then never spoke of again. I just want to go to my room and cry till my head hurts. I just want to leave this damn table.

"I-It's nothing...I am just being ungrateful and dramatic.." I said through hot tears that streamed down my face, "I'm sorry that I was making up such stupid lies...I'm so sorry." I lied through my teeth, I've learned how to push down my feelings, so this isn't anything new. I looked up at him finally with teary eyes, then I looked at my mother beside him, she looked heart broken.

A small smirk pulled at the corner of his lips, I'm glad that he's enjoying the show. "See, she's fine. I told you she was just attention seeking." 

I've never seen a more disgusted look on mom's face before. "Really Matthew?! What about that statement made you think that everything is just peachy?" It feels like every part of my body is on fire. I just want this to be forgotten about. "I can't believe you." She seemed so disappointed. I don't get why she's so surprised, does she even know who she decided to marry?

"Go to your room Y/n." My dad said sternly. My body instantly felt cool again and a lot less heavy, I've never been more happy to simply go to my room. Quickly, I flew from my seat and sped walked towards my room.

I rushed into my room and just as I was about to shut my room door, a hand stopped it. "Hey dip shit." My older brother said as he came into my room and leaned against my drawer. Tobias was the oldest out of the three of us, he's also the biggest dick on planet Earth. I don't know why he hasn't moved out of the house yet, he's more than old enough to do so.

"What do you want Tobias?" I said in an irritated tone. "Nothing really, I just wanted to say congratulations." He said smugly. He's so stuck up and thinks that he's better than anyone he's ever come across. What I mostly hate about him is that whenever he talks to someone (especially me) he sticks his nose up at them, like they're the most disgusting person on the planet, he makes people feel so inferior to him. The only people he doesn't do that nose thing to is our other brother and dad, I hate when he does it to mom, I also hate when she just ignores it. 

"Congratulations for what?" I questioned.

"Just congratulations for making mom and dad argue, again." He laughed. his laugh angers me so much. "Get out." I spat, then started to push him out of my room. "Hey! No need to push! I can find my way out on my own just fine." He said, laughing at his own stupid joke, all the way down the hallway. Then I heard Mike shout from his room across the hall, "Good one Tobi!" Mike, the middle child of our family. I don't like him very much either, he just follows after everything Tobias does and it's just so irritating.

I finally shut my door completely and jump onto my bed. Letting out big sobs. I don't know what to do, I feel trapped. I don't have enough money to move out just yet, so hopefully when I finally get to college, I'll feel less trapped, I'll feel more free. I just have to squeeze out a little more hope that I may have in my body.