Two of us can never get over each other

.01

The ones who say they will never leave , leaves first, the one who say they are there, are not present, things like that gives us trust issues over people after all they couldn't keep up on there words and we trusted them in the first place, so how can we trust others they won't do the same? But, we have to keep on trusting people to build new relationship, to build new connections and you know to be happy. It will break a thousand times, we have to choose to whom we are willing to get it broken. 

This story revolves around that same concept, trust, betrayal, love and all the sweet dark emotions we feel. 

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Chapter one: started from puberty

I finished reading another page of my book , in the bus, she was looking at me from across, as she was standing in the girls compartment, I couldn't help but to notice her from the reflection of the bus window, i thought why now? You weren't looking at me that much when we were together when I begged you to stay.

I had cried alot from the past few days , I even had to throw away and tear her belongings that I had, just to forget about her. I deleted her photos which I stored in my phone, but no matter how much I try i have to see her daily.

That's my blessings and my curse.

Well let's start from the beginning, from where it began and where it ended , hold your horses cause this is going to be worthwhile. Let's get back to January of this year.

My name is Canzy Fynn, Cofy for short I am a 15  year old highschool teen, and it's the start of the new year.

I am currently a lonely and traumatised kid thanks to my parents, but I do have one friend , Paul, he is kind of a self absorbed guy who likes to talk about himself and likes to compliment himself as much as possible, but it's okay to me now, we have been friends for like 2 years now, my first impression on Paul was kind of weird , or dangerous to be exact , he was friends with Tod , a random guy in my park with whom I used to play football with. 

He introduced me to him , they were making some jokes , that day Paul was wearing a red t shirt and Tod was wearing a black one and me? A white one.

"You a black asshole" Paul said laughing

"You a white asshole" Tod said pointing towards me and started to laugh

I tried to make a joke and said to Paul 

"You a red asshole" 

Tod looked at me with a smile and Paul stretched his eyes came running towards me, he grabbed my neck pushed me towards a wall almost smashing me, I was scared as fuck. 

I couldn't interpret the situation,

"Listen, you little piece of shit, if you ever tried to insult me I will smash your head onto this wall" he said with a cold tone

"Okay sorry" that's what I could say nothing else came out of my mouth that time 

"Bro , take it easy Paul he is just a kid," 

"Doesn't mean he has the right to insult me"

They were older one or two years than me, so they had the power, but after that incident i kind of got impressed by Paul and started to admire him, he kind of was a leader among the football companions, everyone obeyed him , and listened to him, he became the kind of guy , you know when two people fight and they try to resolve conflicts whom they go to? Yeah he became that guy.

But that was a long time ago, i started spending more time with him and eventually we became friends, although I literally pleased him to be friends with me, he said no, but it all went well, now he is my only friend.

My parents decided to shift from that place and move to another township very far from where I used to live, and by that time it was already one year to highschool, and that's when I met her. The angel of my life, and at the same time my rage.

I had to leave Paul behind and all my football companions, i didn't feel anything at all , neither did Paul.
I made friends in this new township and got a crush on one girl, but she really wasn't interested in me so I lost hope. By that time I wasn't any close to how do I look now, all thanks to the workout i did,i was average looking guy. Then i decided i wanted girls as any teenager would want. I started to work out, at home. My parents didn't allow me to access gym as they believed a 15 year old doesn't even need to workout and eat as much as possible.

I started by doing some push ups and built some strength. For the first time in my life I was confident, I was confident about my body, it wasn't so impressive but it wasn't bad either. Then I got acne.

My confidence dropped down, I got it mostly on my forehead so i switched up my hairstyle to hide it.

Was that normal? I don't know I just did it anyway. I started to use some skin care then it got balanced, it seemed like puberty. I was getting tall, my voice was getting deeper. But a sense of fear kicked in me, the fear of getting old and taking responsibilities.

I didn't wanted to grow old, I felt lonely most of the time as a kid, but I was okay with it, but now I was getting attracted to all these girls and women. I was seeking human touch and then I discovered porn. I started to masturbate and got indulged into that, but after a while i didn't feel that much of it. It all seemed like fake.

I didn't wanted to see a guy fucking the women I want to fuck so i stopped touching myself and started to workout even more to fight the urges.

I was in a good position of my life, i was happy alone again, I saw progress in my body and mind, i was loving it. I was getting attention from all these girls i couldn't believe it myself, I felt eyes of some girls on me.

It was the start of the new year January.

3 months to enter highschool.