Silence.
I sit in complete and utter silence as I watch the others eat. I watch them as they bring the chopsticks to there mouths without hesitation, without thinking of how many calories that one bite could contain, without thinking of a way to get rid of it afterwards. I am jealous, jealous that they don't have to worry up about gaining weight. That they don't have such a toxic relationship with something as simple as food.
"You aren't eating" Minho points out as he brings his cup to his mouth,
"I'm not hungry."
chan let out a big sigh as he and changing got up, emptying there dishes in the sink and walking away.
I know I'm slowly driving them to madness with my dieting, but I can't stop. It's been 3 months, and most of them have given up- they have gotten used to it. They learned to live with it.
They dint beg me to eat a meal, they don't have screaming matches with me when I don't eat. They have simply given up. And I understand that they should have given up with fixing me months ago, because I'm not worth fixing. I'm not worth the food they give me, I'm not worth the time they spend trying to make me smile. I'm not worth it.
By now everyone except Minho and I have left the table. I stare at my untouched food emotionlessly, while Minho wipes off the table.
"If you're not going to eat say that, dint let the food go cold and wasted."
And with that, Minho took my dishes to the trash and dumped it out, leaving me, sitting at the table, alone.
-
Another short chapter for y'all. While I'm at boarding school after winter break I'll try my best to update
(not proof read)
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𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄𝐒﹔𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗
Fanfiction"you really need to stop felix" his voice is laced with worry and concern, the opposite of mine as I tell him to shut up and snatch my hand away. "im pushing everyone away, and i dont even know why even with black holes under my eyes, sunken cheeks...
