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compulsion. / season one, episode two.
When Felicity Herman was six years old, the world drove a knife through her heart and took away her world. At a young age, the world was something she viewed in a specific way, and it was something she understood on her own terms. To have it all suddenly stripped away from her at a moment's notice with no warning was terrifying.
Since then, the world has rarely been kind to her. She remembered the day clearly, despite so many doctors assuming she would block the entire thing out. Felicity's brain could never seem to let her block anything out. She knew every moment of her life from the beginning and she would know every detail until the untimely end. She remembered the moment she realized her mother and father were dead, and that her aunt most likely was, too. She could clearly remember the moment she began to wonder why the monster that did it spared her. And because of this, Felicity could remember the exact moment she was destined to wind up in the position she was in today.
Felicity would take extra care to ensure she stayed where she was.
Her first few days back at the BAU after the Seattle Strangler case were much harder than she originally anticipated. Felicity took the time to clear her desk out and reorganize every little item from old files to her own personal memorabilia. The files had been reorganized by month and year, and after that, in alphabetical order. She color-coded each case by the type of UnSub and by the time she was finished with her drawers, it had only been 27 minutes and 13 seconds.
She took the time to reorganize the top of her desk next, reordering everything and taking some things home. One wall is lined with old photos in new frames. A photo of her and her mother, a photo of herself with her sister Yasmine and her niece Emmy, a photo of her, her brother Vince, and Yasmine, and a family photo of the four of them. Next to the photos was a lamp and a small skeleton. On the other wall, she had lined it with a new set of books and desk organizers. Her pens had all been situated in their spots, along with her sticky notes, and paper clips. She also had a new prized possession - a skull. Was it real? Was it fake? She would not disclose such information.
In another drawer that did not contain work related things, she had hidden her 'goods.' This included chocolate, bubblegum, scrunchies, some pretty rocks she found outside her apartment, and pads.
The world she worked in often disturbed both her peace and environment. At least in the safety of the sixth-floor bullpen, she could have her desk. And at her desk, she had peace.
