Ice and asphalt [Charles Leclerc]

5.

Victoria comes in third place last weekend. Her lutz is fixed, but she can't compete with Claire and the girl from Russia, who are both throwing quadruple jumps around. Spending the weekend with Max was nice, but he is now preparing for the race and doing media stuff.

It's Tuesday, and to my surprise, Charles is at his mom's home and not at his apartment. I'm sitting at their kitchen table with headphones in, listening to Taylor Swift, while I'm fully concentrating on my painting for the client in Monaco. Charles is doing something on his laptop and has a paper in front of him. From the short look I give him, it looks like he's preparing for the race. We sit there in comfortable silence, both minding our own business. I find myself calm in his presence once again. There's a moment where this happened before, but I've decided to forget about it and not think about it anymore. But it's simply too hard to forget.

I'm startled and almost mess up the painting on one of the plates when I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Victoria, don't scare me like that! I almost messed up the painting!" I say angrily, maybe a bit too angry, as she looks at me with wide eyes. "Why are you always so snappy around the Monaco Grand Prix? You never scream, and now you're doing it again just like last year," she says, referring to last year when I was in the middle of my mania. "You just scared me," I say, lowering my voice again. All of this hasn't caught the attention of Charles. "You need to relax a bit, and you're in luck because look what I have in your size," she says as she holds up a pair of skates and looks at me with a big smile. "I'm not allowed to do jumps. And who let you even in the house?" I say, tilting my head to the side. "Pascale did, and there's more to skating than jumping, Lou. Come on, it will help you relax again," she says, looking at me with pleading eyes. "I want to, but my mom will kill me. She doesn't trust me not to do any jumping," I say, knowing that people will film me on the ice again.

"Charles will come with us. Your mom knows he'll snitch on you if you jump," she says, and now Charles looks up from the screen with knotted eyebrows. "He won't go with us," I say, looking back at him. "For once, I agree with Louise," he says, turning back to his screen. "Are you sure about that, Charles? I think I'll tell Louise about our little conversation last year then," Vic says, and this has a clear effect on Charles as he gets up and tells us to hurry up. I'm just confused about what's so secret for me to know that he will go with us to the rink.

It feels amazing to be back on the ice, and I was expecting to be a bit rusty, but I'm not at all. It's like I've never left. Charles stays on the side of the rink, looking at his phone or taking pictures with fans, as the rink is open to the public.

"I think they want you to give them a show," Victoria says with a big smile. When I look around, people have made space for us and look at us, like they're waiting for something. "I can't do one of my programs. I can't just do triple and quadruple jumps; I'm not allowed to," I say, looking at her, unsure of what she's expecting from me.

"You were working on something right before you fell, right? You showed me, and there were no hard jumps in it yet, only singles. You're allowed to do singles, and it looked beautiful," she says, and she's right. I had made a long program to a song someone had told me they would like to see me skate to, and I was working on it, but then I fell again. "Fine."

I'm standing in the middle of the ice, waiting for Victoria to turn the music on. When it starts, I make eye contact with Charles. Before I know it, Kensington, a Dutch band, is blasting through the speakers with "Sorry," and I start skating again, and it feels just wonderful. But I don't do the jumps; I just do a pretty turn. Every time I wanted to do a jump, fear crept over me, something I've never felt when skating. But it all fades as I finish. All the applause from the people doesn't matter to me as he's not there anymore. He left, but I can still see him, so I put my protection on my blades and walk after him.