Ice and asphalt [Charles Leclerc]

20.

I'll never be grateful for having bipolar disorder, but I am somewhat grateful for the way it manifests in my case. My depressive episodes are always very short, and with all my medication, it only lasted for three days this time around. However, it doesn't take away my broken heart. I may be out of my episode, but my heart can't mend that fast. It's Thursday night, and Pierre and Charles have already left for Belgium for the race in Spa. However, Arthur and I are going tomorrow with my parents and Pascale. Since we don't have anything to do on media day, and Arthur had a training session he needed to attend, he'll be home late tonight to leave with us again early tomorrow morning. We will meet my parents at the airport in Nice tomorrow morning, so it leaves Pascale and me alone for dinner tonight. I don't mind it at all, as I enjoy her company, and she's been so helpful with the whole breakup situation with Max. "Pascale, can I ask you a favor?" I inquire as I take another bite of the delicious food she has prepared. "Of course, darling, what is it?" she responds with a kind smile on her face. "Could you maybe not tell my mom about my depressive episode? I don't want to worry her," I ask, and Pascale seems to need some time to think about it before she responds. "It's very natural for her to worry, Louise. You can't blame her for that. But I won't tell her," she says, and I nod. "It just feels like she needs to have some control over it, and when she finds out the episodes still come through even with the extra medication, I think it will break her heart," I explain, and Pascale nods in understanding. We continue to eat the food she has made while engaging in small conversation.

"Do you ever think about coloring your hair again?" Pascale asks me as I sit on the floor in front of the couch watching Gossip Girl while she braids my hair. "I don't know, I think the blonde highlights were a bit too much. Maybe I'll do some highlights more like my own hair color but a bit lighter, but at the moment, I'm fine with my hair," I say, knowing that Pascale is already making a plan to color and cut it in her hairdresser mind. We both watch the series playing on the TV as she continues braiding my hair, and after a moment of silence, Pascale asks, "Have you heard anything from Max?" I drop my eyes to my lap at the mention of his name. "I saw he called and texted me a dozen times, but the last couple of days I didn't even have the energy to look at my phone, so I haven't responded yet," I say with a sad tone, still hurt by it all and feeling like such a fool. Before Pascale can say another word, Arthur comes bursting through the door. "Your favorite person is back!" he says as he lets himself fall on the couch next to his mother and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Did I interrupt your girls' night?" he says, looking at us and now also sitting on the floor next to me. "As long as you don't mind watching Gossip Girl, you're not interrupting anything," I say with a cheeky smile on my face, happy that my best friend is back as he makes me forget about the things I'm sad about. "Louise Gasly, you know that I'm always down to watch Gossip Girl. Don't ask stupid questions," he says, but also receives a light tap on the head from his mother as Pascale says, "Be nice to Louise," and Arthur acts shocked. "Mother, I'm your son, you should be on my side," he says with a smirk, acting dramatic, as Pascale scoffs and tells him to shut up.

"I don't know about you two, but I'm going to bed. Long weekend up ahead," Pascale says as she gets up from the couch, putting away the blanket she was laying under. She walks over to us, and as I have my head in Arthur's lap, she leans down to give me a kiss on the head, then goes to do the same to Arthur as we say goodnight to her. As there is silence again, I'm fully immersed in the series and am shaken when Arthur suddenly speaks up. "Louise, you know it's not your fault, right?" he says, and he doesn't even need to say what he's talking about, as I know it's about Max cheating on me with Lucie. "I know, but it's hard to accept it and not somehow think it's because of something I did," I say, feeling sad about the whole situation but also grateful that I can talk about it with Arthur. "Louise, you didn't do anything wrong. It's his loss, not yours, and he will only realize it more when your Vogue cover and the other photos come out tomorrow," he says with encouraging words, reminding me that indeed, tomorrow my Vogue cover will be released and put out onto the internet and in stores. "If you feel uncomfortable this weekend being around him, just tell me. We'll leave or something and go canoeing or something," he says with a light chuckle, and I can't help but laugh with him.