Idiots in Love

Completely zoned off in the band's rehearsal, I watched in awe as my boyfriend plucked the strings of his sunburst Squier bass, fingers moving somnambulant.

How did I get so lucky?
I mused silently, smiling absent-mindedly like a lovestruck idiot as I gazed at him: his long locks of wavy brown hair, his kind smile, his clever blue-grey eyes, his beautiful hands with those long, delicate fingers...

My daydreaming was rudely disturbed by a clamour of loud voices.

"Fred, you're singing it wrong, it's throwing my timing off!"

"Oh fuck off Roger" Freddie's voice purred.

I looked up at the two having a spat. This was a common occurrence, no shock to me at this point. The two argued like brothers nearly every time I'd come along with John to these rehearsals. Sometimes Brian would join in, too - but never John. He preferred to sit and do his own thing.

"Oh quit it Roger, he's singing it fine!"
Brian chimed in.

I lifted my head and couldn't help but giggle slightly at the arguing. I personally thought they sounded great, but I didn't know much about what they were going for. It all seemed quite experimental to me, different to what you'd hear on the radio.

John took the backseat for these arguments, never contributed. I understood, I didn't like confrontation either. He had only joined the band a few months ago so he felt like the "new boy" still, but he had so much more that he could contribute to the band. I often tried to persuade him to push his ideas to the others - I thought they were brilliant - but he said no, he didn't want to. Not yet.

I glanced at John to make sure he was doing okay. It took me a second to catch his attention, but when I did, he smiled at me. That beautiful smile. It lit up my whole world for a matter of seconds: like it was just me and him in this practise room. I found myself blushing, suddenly shy - as though we hadn't been going out for two months at this point.

John spoke up - a rare occurrence. His voice was soft but firm.
"Why don't we take a break for a few minutes, get a coffee? I think we're all knackered right now and won't agree on anything."

The other three begrudgingly agreed and went off their separate ways, Freddie and Roger still bickering as they walked out the door.
John closed the door after them and looked at me, mouth twitching to a smile. We both laughed. We often joked that his bandmates were like our kids, a group of toddlers with their constant bickering.

"Nothing changes with them, does it?"
I asked while sidling up towards him coolly, hiding the flutter of excitement in my stomach.

He shook his head and laughed.
"It's the one thing you can bet on, these spats. Especially when it comes to Rog and Fred."

I was right beside John at this point. I loved how I had to look up a little bit to see his face, I only came up to his shoulders.

He looked down at me and smiled.
"Good thing I have you here to keep me sane."
He muttered before bending down to give me a kiss.
I smiled into the kiss as I closed my eyes, revelling in the soft touch of his lips. I let my tongue wander and hummed slightly, hinting that I wanted more.

John paused and drew back to look at me.
"But the guys will be here soon..."

I groaned, knowing he was right.
"I know. I just.... I love you."
I said for the first time in our relationship. Well, it came out more like a whisper, maybe a squeak. But I had said it and John heard it, that was what mattered.

John's expression softened and he cupped my face in his hands, looking me in the eye with his pretty smile as his eyes creased at the corners.
"I love you too."

We stood like that, savouring every second, until the band walked in and we reluctantly pulled away from eachother.
Brian was first in the door and just caught John's hands grazing my face.
"Ah, the two lovebirds!"
He laughed softly, rolling his eyes playfully. Roger came in right after, hearing Brian's comment.

"What were they up to? Hope it wasn't anything too raunchy."
He snickered.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous Roger!"
Freddie scolded like a cross mother as he sauntered into the room.
"You know these two, they only ever kiss and cuddle and hold hands around us. Bit boring, if you ask me!"
He joked, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes playfully at him, giggling slightly. I'd always had a soft spot for the eccentric frontman.

"Right boys, let's go!"
He announced. I checked my watch and retreated to my seat in the corner to watch the band again.
Only an hour, I told myself. An hour sounded

like years to me, though. I needed to be close to John again. I missed his tender touch already, his soft whispers, his gentle manner.

The rehearsal went by much the same as it had before - evidently the "10 minute break" didn't do much good for anyone. The bickering picked up where it left off, and John stayed silent. Not much playing was done with the amount of arguing going on, meaning John was just sitting with his bass on his lap for a good majority of the next hour. I tried to catch his eye, my brows furrowed, but he seemed to know that if he looked at me I'd silently encourage him to speak up. So he avoided my glance.

We said our goodbyes to his bandmates and didn't say a word until we were in the car. The tension between us hung thick in the air. When we closed the doors and sat into the car, I turned to face John from the passenger seat.

"You need to speak up when they carry on like that. It's unfair to you, their bickering means you just sit there and do nothing at all. It's a waste of your time."

"I know you were going to say that!" He exclaimed. He took a deep breath and sat back into his carseat with a stony expression.

"I can't." He sighed and massaged his temples, as though he had a headache.
I could see him tense his jaw and could almost feel the angst and anger in him bubbling to the surface.
He pushed his hair back, exasperated. I lay my hand gently on his shoulder, feeling the cool, soft suede of his brown jacket. He sighed.

"I know you're just trying to help me. I get it. But... I'll figure it out on my own. It's not like me to barge in and start arguing, I just don't function like that. Just give me a while and I'll figure it out."

"I know. I was just afraid they were pushing you around. I know you love to play - you hardly even got to do any playing there because of all that squabbling."

He smiled at me weakly.
"I know you're concerned for me, and I appreciate it. I just prefer to deal with these things by myself."

I smiled sympathetically back at him.
"I'm sorry, I should know that by now."
I lay my hand on his lap.
"I just worry 'bout you Deacs, that's all."

He gave me a proper smile now, showing me that perfect gap-toothed grin of his that I loved and rolling his eyes playfully.

"I'll have you know I can take care of myself quite sufficiently by now!"
I played along and adorned a doubtful expression.

"Really? Maybe you should do it more often then."
We both laughed, any and all tension completely dissipated now. I smiled, feeling warm and happy, hand on John's lap, as we drove back to his apartment.