The Definition of a Soul Tie

chapter four

t: "What? Why." I asked.

o: "I don't like the way you make me feel."

t: "What."

o: "It was good at first but now I feel like shit when we text."

t: "Why?"

t: "Look, what my cousin did has nothing to do with me. I'm sorry."

o: "You're not good for me, it's not just that, you didn't even defend me. You trap me into things and my sister made me realize it also you don't understand how the things you do make me feel as well as the other things going on in my life. I can't be in a relationship with you anymore goodbye Taro."

I sobbed. I poured my eyes out wondering why I did that why I'm such a fuck up. Until I got a notification on my phone. It was from Olivia's sister, Maddie.

?: "Hey this is Maddie"

md: "Taro are you okay?"

t: "No, why would I? I understand how Olivia feels I really do it's just I told my cousin not to tell anyone because I just felt like venting to him but he made it all worse and I couldn't say anything just fighting with my cousin would make it more worse since I fucked him up once and he's already going through enough and I don't want to make it worse but I swear I still love Olivia I just never thought it would come to this ever.

md: "She doesn't want to break up because of that."

t: "Then why?"

md: "You're toxic to her and trap her."

"t: What? I'm not toxic."

md: "You make her feel like you don't trust her, she doesn't feel good when she talks to you and she's scared if she tells you the truth your gonna be mad or hurt yourself."

t: Oh. I see. I feel really bad now I never wanted her to think that I was a toxic person.I just love her yk. Just everything about her and Jesse I overthought everything."

md: "I know you do, sometimes we're toxic to ourselves and other people without realizing it and that's not your fault we just have to be more mindful."

md: "Unfortunately, her decision isn't going to be with you and I'm sorry and it's gonna hurt." she adds.

t: "I understand. I really do and it hurts to say that because I don't want her to leave."

md: "But maybe it's a good thing because now you'll have time and space to work on it. Liv has a lot to work on too and I'm just helping her but sometimes things aren't meant to be even if they hurt. And you'll both get over this at different times and speeds and it's gonna hurt for a while."

md: "Have you ever hurt yourself before or was it just a rumor? I won't judge I promise."

Why would she ask that question?

t: "Yeah"

md: "What makes you want to? No one can see this but me."

Liar.

t: "Things at home or when I get too attached and it hurts me too much."

md: "I understand. What do you get out of it? Do you feel relief, control or to just feel something in general? If you feel uncomfy answering any of these questions you don't have to."

t: "Relief."

md: "Okay, do you want to talk about that more?"

t: "Sure"

md: "Before though do you want to hurt yourself right now or is this helping? When was the last time you did?"

t: "A few hours ago."