Arthur Hood: the Heir of Robin and King

Chapter Five

That night while Arthur slept, a lamp cast its glow on the boy's front step, revealing an orange cat resting and the gnomes looking on with their stone gaze. With a long yawn, the feline glared into the night before a noise, the rustling of fallen leaves, made it dart up to its paws. After a long sniff, the creature bounded out into the dim, leaving the front step still and quiet.

Well, it wasn't for long.

Suddenly, a twinkle flashed in the eyes of the lady gnome before it spread like embers until her entire body, her pointy red hat, her polka dot shoes and the flowers she was holding flickered with a bright pale white.

Then as if a vacuum had sucked it all up, the gleam vanished before the gnome's nose started to twitch. And the twitching grew and grew until a monstrous sneeze thundered out.

'Why does that cat always lie down next to me every night,' the lady gnome all of a sudden tweeted. She sneezed again before shooting an evil eye at the gentleman gnome. 'Don't you even think I've forgotten about our argument last night. You will change this instant.'

The gentleman gnome stood as still and stone cold as before.

'If you don't change, Bitty,' the lady gnome continued, 'I will come over there right now and shove these flowers right in your big ears.'

In another sequence of dancing light, the gentleman gnome and the tiny fish at the end of his rod sprang to life.

'There's no need for that, sweetums,' Bitty squeaked.

'Don't you dare call me sweetums,' the lady gnome growled back. 'I'm very angry with you. Livid, in fact.'

'May I ask why, sw–Dolores?'

'Why? You know what you said last night.'

Bitty shrugged. 'Do I? What did I say?'

Dolores screwed up her face in thought for several moments, clearly trying to remember, before replying, 'Do you know what, I can't recall.'

'As always,' Bitty muttered quietly.

'What was that?'

'What was what?'

'You said something.'

'I didn't say a thing.'

'Yes, you did.'

'No, I didn't. You must be hearing things.'

'Don't you dare,' Dolores screamed. 'You said something. Admit it.'

'Keep your voice down,' Bitty replied, getting angry himself, 'you'll wake Arthur. No, you'll wake the entire neighborhood. No, you'll wake the entire country.'

Now whispering, Dolores came back, 'That joke is never funny.'

'It's not supposed to be a joke. Sometimes you can be excruciatingly loud.'

Dolores grunted before a flash of realization swept over her. 'Ah, now I remember. This is what we were arguing about last night. You called me loudmouth.'

Nodding, Bitty said, 'Very good. And you were loud last night just like tonight.'

'I am not loud.'

'Yes, you are.'

'NO! I AM NOT!'

'Quiet. Do you want to bring back the cat? Because if you continue like this, it will. And not only will it make you sneeze up a storm, it might look at you as dinner. Chomp, chomp. Actually–' Bitty put a finger to his chin '--that might be a good idea. I'd definitely get some peace around here.' Then with a yell, he squealed, 'HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! I'VE GOT SOME FOOD FOR YOU!'