END and BEGIN

After silence

Some days have passed, but for you they have merged into one. If it wasn't for the calendar on your work phone that kept reminding you of the appointments you canceled every time, you wouldn't even notice the days were changing.

You've never ever felt so terrible in your life. You crawled out of bed heading for the living room when you heard another reminder on your phone. You stopped at the front door when you heard a noise. You moved closer to turn on the monitor, you were surprised to see Hoseok scurrying around in front of your door.

You opened the door by hitting Hoseok on the shoulder because he leaned over at that moment.

"Oh sorry," you said lowly. It made you surprised a second time; you haven't spoken to anyone for so long that you didn't even know that your voice was so hoarse.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you" he said taking a step back. You saw the groceries near your door and looked at him in surprise.

"What is it?" you asked.

"I know that you don't have food at home because you are never at home. So I decided to bring you something, but you didn't even come out." He shyly held another bag in his hand. "I wrote to you that I left food in front of the door, but you probably didn't see"

"Phone..." you moaned, leaning your head against the door. "I... my personal phone... I lost it," you said, remembering that it stays left on the floor in Yoongi's studio, become in trash.

"Ow" Hoseok chuckled. "Then that explains a lot."

"I'm sorry" only now it dawned on you that you were still standing in front of the front door. "Come in," you said, stepping aside, inviting him inside. "I think I've completely lost my manners," you shook your head.

"It's okay" Hoseok smiled.

He walked into the kitchen with the bags and gasped when he opened your refrigerator. He slowly turned towards you, looking at you in disbelief. "______" he called you, drawing your attention. "When was the last time you ate?" he asked looking around your too clean kitchen.

"I..." You stopped. "I... I don't remember." You really couldn't remember the last time you ate. You shook your head, then no wonder why you felt completely powerless.

"______" Hoseok practically moaned your name as he ran his hand across your face. You chuckled at how much he cared about you. Your heart clenched, forming a lump in your throat. You covered your face with your hands when, unexpectedly even for yourself, you burst into tears. "It's okay" Hoseok hugged you tightly, holding you against his chest.

"That's so reckless," you whispered as the emotion on Hoseok' face made you cry. Hoseok stood silently, letting you just cry in his warm embrace. Hoseok's hand stroked your hair soothingly, making your heart ache even more, reminding you of Yoongi who hid you in his arms every time you cried.

You tried to control yourself. You needed to calm down. You didn't mean to turn Hoseok into your personal tear vest. You pulled away from him, wiping away your tears. "I couldn't tell you - don't cry" Hoseok said putting his hands on your shoulders making you meet his gaze. "But at least let me cook something for you. You seem to have lost half of your already low weight," Hoseok said skeptically.

It made you smile a little. Hoseok has always been the one who has the most to worry about when someone skips a meal. You just nodded in agreement. Hoseok beamed with a wide smile. He quickly took out the groceries from the bags, preparing the right ingredients.

You were mad at yourself because Hoseok's every action reminded you about Yoongi. Too many things remind you about him. You brushed away the tears that rolled down your cheeks again. Stop it, you're mad at yourself. "Sorry," you said as you watched Hoseok cook the food.

"Why?" he asked while chopping vegetables.

"For that night. For my behavior. For my words"

Hoseok froze at your words. "It's all right," he said, still not moving. "I should be the one who asks for forgiveness for coming to you at all that night."

"It's not fair to blame you for something you're not guilty of," you said shaking your head. "Thank you for being here," you said. His presence really made you feel a little better about yourself. At least his presence stopped your tears.

"Any time," he said as he turned to face you. "I will always be there to you"

Hoseok returned to the food he was cooking. He talked about how he prepared for his performance, and how much time he spent on it. You were glad that he didn't mention any of the members or anything that happened during that week. But you couldn't help but notice that somewhere inside you wanted to know how Yoongi was. You stopped your thoughts when this desire appeared inside you. You asked so often about how Yoongi used to be that it seemed like it had become a habit.

You stared down at your belly as your stomach grumbled at the smell of food that filled the kitchen. This made you laugh. Hoseok looked at you in surprise, but when your stomach growled again, he laughed too. "I'm glad your stomach is okay," he said with a wide smile. You never expected such a simple thing to make you smile. "Eat more," he smiled as he placed a plate of food in front of you.

"Thank you," you said, taking the spoon he handed you. You laughed softly. "Tasty" you said. "Really tasty," you shook your head as you ate another spoonful.

"I'm practically offended by such surprise in your voice." Hoseok crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not that bad at cooking." He pouted his lips, pretending to be offended. "I'm certainly not Yoongi..." Hoseok stopped abruptly, turning into a pale statue, while his lips pressed into a thin line. The name of Yoongi made you freeze in place with a spoon in the air.

"You cook good," you said quickly, not letting the atmosphere get even more awkward. It will be irreversible to hear Yoongi's name, no matter what, you work in his agency. All your work is connected with him and other members. "Thank you for making me a meal," you smiled at him.

"Oh, yes," he shook his head quickly. "I'm glad you liked it." Hoseok began to check his pockets while you looked at him with interest. He quickly walked into the corridor, returning with his bag in his hands. "Here," he said as he placed the phone in front of you. "You can use it for now until you buy yourself a new phone."

"Oh, thank you." You shook your head as you picked up the phone.

"It's brand new," he said when you unlocked the phone. "I wanted to change mine, but I will do it later. I don't have time for that right now anyway," he explained.

"I'll try to get it back to you as soon as possible," you said smiling at him.

"You don't have to rush. If you like it, you can just keep it."

"That's too much." You waved your hand, making him laugh.

"Damn," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I have to go to practice," he said. "If you don't mind, I'll come visit you tomorrow," he said quickly putting the rest of the groceries in your refrigerator.

"Any time," you said as you walked him to the door. "Thanks again for lunch or dinner, even though I might call it breakfast," you chuckled.

"Eat everything on your plate" he ruffled your hair. He acted like an older brother who going to work and leaving his younger sister at home alone.

"I'm not a child" you snorted

"Okay," he mimicked your snort.

Hoseok left the apartment waving at you until the door closed. You froze in the empty hallway as the apartment was filled with silence again. You sighed from the heaviness that you felt left alone again. Hoseok was too bright; you didn't even expect to feel such a contrast from his absence.