WITHERING AWAY

Insecurities

Kelly was a fifteen year old girl with a heart full of insecurities. She despised her reflection in the mirror, hating every aspect of her appearance. Her face was marred by acne, her features seemed too big, her breasts too small, and her waist not slim enough. She yearned to look like the beautiful girls at her school, with their flawless skin, petite noses, slim figures, ample bosoms, luscious hair, and fashionable clothes.

The attention her friends received from boys was something Kelly longed for. She wanted to be desired, to feel confident in her own skin, and to not be ashamed of being seen in public. She craved the attention of boys who would approach her, not to ask for her friend's number, but because they genuinely liked her. The desire to be beautiful consumed her thoughts, and she often wondered what she would do to achieve it.

Kelly was even tempted to ask her mother for permission to undergo plastic surgery, but deep down, she knew her mother would never allow it. She wasn't even allowed to wear makeup, which she believed could at least hide her "ugly, gross" face. In her mind, she created an alternate version of herself, one with the perfect body, flawless skin, beautiful face, stylish clothes, and the undivided attention of boys.

Some days, Kelly would catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror and feel a fleeting sense of beauty. But it wouldn't take long for her to find a flaw, whether it was blemish on her face or a perceived imperfection in her body or outfit. She was never fully confident in her appearance, always striving for an unattainable standard of beauty.

Being pretty was the only thing Kelly wanted more than anything. She remembered a time when she had tearfully begged her mother to change something about her, hoping that her mother would understand her pain. But her mother had refused, unable to comprehend the depth of Kelly's insecurities.

Kelly had never cared much about her looks until she entered high school. It was there that a girl in her class had pointed out her flaws, and since then, her insecurities has only grown worse. Countless nights were spent crying herself to sleep, wishing she could be beautiful enough to be accepted by those around her.

****
One year later

But by the time she turned sixteen, something shifted within her. It was as if a switch has been flipped, and Kelly realized that she had spent far too much time and energy worrying about her looks. She had missed out on countless experiences and opportunities because she was too preoccupied with trying to fit into a mold that wasn't meant for her. It was exhausting, and she had finally had enough.

Kelly slowly started to accept herself for who she really was. She began to appreciate her unique features, her guirks, and her individuality. She realized that her worth wasn't determined by her appearance but by the person she was inside. And that person was kind, intelligent, and full of potential.

The more Kelly started accepting herself, the more she realized that she was glad she never really got a chance to change anything about herself. She had contemplated altering her hair, her body, and even her face to conform to society's standards. But now, she saw her beauty in her imperfections. Her unruly curls became a symbol of her wild spirit, her freckles a testament to her adventurous nature, and her introverted tendencies a reflection of her introspective mind.

As Kelly embraced authenticity, she felt newfound sense of freedom. She no longer felt the need to hide behind layers of makeup or dress in a way that didn't align with her true self. She started to surround herself with people who loved and accepted her for how she looked, rather than those who only valued her based on her appearance.

I was once Kelly