Anagapesis

Jedidah's POV (continuation)

Jedidah's POV

I always feel like I'm in an unending loop of life. I keep fighting the battles inside of me, but with every single try, I still fail. I feel like I'm so hopeless with everything.

I'm still alive, yeah, but I'm dying deep
inside, and I need someone to fight the war for me because I can't take it anymore. How did I even manage to get myself to where I am right now? I don't know either. I am filled with insecurities, especially since I found out I was adopted.

They gave me a home, but I feel like I'm lost and empty. Everyone wants me to be this and that... But nobody knew about the storm that clouded my thoughts, the monsters that's haunting me every night. And now here I am with my mom, driving me to my therapist, Dr. Shaun Lee.

"Sweetheart, you know me and your dad love you so much, right?" Her mom said while driving. "Yes, ma."

"Jesus loves you more than we do," they said together. "Now you're mocking me, aren't you?" Her mom looked at her from her peripheral vision.

"Nope,~ I am keeping it in mind like you asked me to; I even remembered Romans 8:18: "The pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming," Jed replied while unconsciously playing with the lace of her jacket.

"Okay, young miss, I pray that one day you will be able to finally get to know our Lord." Jed remained silent. 'Did someone save us?' It keeps haunting her. Can God save me? She asked herself. If He can, why didn't he want me home then? I'm tired. I keep drowning. I keep fighting with no one knows what direction I am going.

"Tsk, this is stupid." Jed muttered under her breath. Did you say anything, Jedi? "No, ma, it's nothing," she said while gulping. "Okay, if you said so, anyway, we're here. Make sure to text me when you're done with your sessions, alright? Do you still have some money for the bus fare? "Her mom asked her while kissing her forehead,

"Yeah, ma, this is still enough. I promise to text or call after my session here," she said while opening the door of the car. "Okay, I love you! God bless you, Jed," her mom said, waving her hand goodbye. "I love you, ma. Take care! "She replied while reciprocating the amount of energy her mom has.