Where to go? Who to trust?

Chapter 2: WhatsApp or Instagram?

He thought it would pass, that it was just a brief phase, something of no consequence. It kept rushing through his mind. "WhathaveIdone?WhathaveIdone?WhathaveIdone?" It was like a fire, it kept getting wilder. Ethan walked down the hall, his head spinning, while Jace talked to him. He didn't hear a thing he said. "I need to use the bathroom." Ethan ran off, as Jace was left standing alone in the hallway, kind of confused. Anyone would be, who leaves mid-conversation to use the bathroom after first period?

Ethan entered a stall, and hanged his backpack on one of the hooks on the door. He pulled out a small plastic bag smaller than his palm from the side pocket, and lo and behold, it was three razor blades he'd acquired after disassembling his shaving razor at home. Why would he do such a thing? He almost dropped the bag on the floor, his hands were shaking profusely. Maybe because he'd never done this before. A blade departed from his bag, and into his hand. "I need this to calm myself down", he thought. Was this actually what was required? Doing so would give that short burst of relief, but this was not a step in the right direction. He carefully placed the blade on the skin of his forearm. In one swift motion, he sliced his skin. He kept looking the cut, the blood dripping from it onto the floor. He breathed a sigh, and put his head against the wall. There it was. That short relief. But at what cost? It had only been a three hours into college. One-hundred, and eighty minutes, and a scar was born.

There was someone outside the stall. Ethan panicked. There was someone outside the stall, and he had blood dripping from his forearm. He rolled his sleeve back down, and let it be. He put the razors back into his backpack, and exit the stall. Thankfully, the kid outside was none the wiser, and shut the stall door behind him. Ethan washed his hands, and his forearm till he was satisfied it wouldn't get infected. He left the bathroom, his eyes filled with solace. A solace that he previously abhorred, he was now a part of. He descended the stairwell outside the bathroom, and made his way to the football field like nothing had happened. Like not five minutes ago he wasn't cutting himself. Oh well.

The football field was one of the many places the students would sit down at. It was sufficiently spacious, and quite full at the time. There was enough space to walk between people. Many were talking, many were eating, many were playing music on the Bluetooth speakers they'd brought from home. Ethan found peace in the chaos around him. There was almost no place to sit, except for a spot beside a garbage can beside one of the goalposts. He shrugged, and plopped himself down there. Even though he was alone, at the very least, he was in relief, he thought. Not the best relief though. Ethan had closed his eyes for a brief moment, until Jace was standing over him. "Why are you sitting all alone in the sun?" Jace still could not understand this troubled individual. He knew how to deal with it however, he'd met many such as him, and was himself, a troubled individual. Ethan looked up at him, squinting his eyes, and covering his view of the sun with his left hand.

"I don't really know anyone here, and I couldn't find you, so." Jace pursed his lips, turned around to look at a group of students, and looked back at Ethan.

"Come with me."

Jace signalled Ethan, and Ethan left his spot with no hesitation. After all, who wanted to spend two whole hours outdoors in forty-degree weather? The two made their way through the groups of people sitting in the field. Ethan almost tripped over three people on his way, and kept focusing on how his heart was racing. Jace took Ethan to a group of curious looking students. This was one of the groups on the field that had their own speaker, but it wasn't too loud. Jace proceeded to go back to where he was sitting, leaving Ethan in even more of an anxious state. The person sitting on the very edge looked up at Ethan, who was fidgeting about the place. The girl next to them also raised her head in a keen way. Eventually, most of the group had their eyes on the new kid.