Poolside

Part 4 - Jake

"I don't even know why we're going to this party. We need to clear the air, how can we enjoy ourselves and put on happy smiles when we've barely made up from last night's argument?"

He straightens his posture on the love seat at the end of our bed, setting his phone down to the side face down. "Of course we have to go, it's our party. And it wasn't an argument, you just took what I said the wrong way."

"No, it is your party. The band's. And I know exactly what'll happen. You'll get caught up talking music and tour like always and you won't even notice me." Despite my protestations I carry on putting together my beach bag. Spare sunglasses, a towel for if I fancy a dip, my cheeky hip flask in case Sammy runs out of the good tequila.

I hear him stand, padding across the deep, fluffy rug and coming up behind me, hands running down my arms to slowly turn me round to him.

"Sugar, how could I not notice you? Have you seen you today?"

He pulls me against him, hands continuing over the waist of my draping black maxi dress. I feel his touch through the silky material, his fire burning through to my core like it always does. Like I crave and long for and melt at the mere thought of. But I'm still annoyed at our crossed words. I didn't get it wrong. He'd prefer to be out there with them instead of here with me, and it's making me question why I just accept that I'm never a priority.

"Come on Sugar, it's gonna be a great day I promise. The absolute best. Now come here and lay it on me."

His lips make me feel like I could be the only girl in the world, and if I could survive on kisses alone there would never be any problems. But as he pulls back to head and pick up his phone - which unusually hadn't left his hand since he'd been back - I'm left feeling like I've just been appeased. Sweet-talked and smoothed over.

As I expect the party becomes a Kiszka love fest. At least Danny has the right idea to keep to the sidelines with his other half, my band Bestie, arms glued to each other and sharing smiley kisses. My only comfort so far has been the margaritas, hugging and refilling them as I'm forced to listen to the same droning stories about vineyards in France, the music festivals in Germany I'd heard countless times already.

The three brothers all delight in sounding off to their sycophants, the friends and suck ups trying to hang onto the outer rings of this celebrity world I learned long ago it was best to stay out of. The fans, the press, the relentless, repetitive nature of life on the road. I knew I couldn't do it full time anymore but it took me away from Jake and I know it had changed something in our relationship, that I stopped dropping it all to follow him everywhere.

The afternoon becomes a haze that I'm only counting by what number drink I'm on. My attempts to put our tension aside and enjoy the day always seem to get thwarted, Jake talking over me or stupid sibling arguments diverting the attention and soon I'm doing anything to zone me out of their circle. Take me out of my head and pull some gossip from other people's.

The revelations about Josh and Peach could be just the ticket. It was obvious she had crazy big feelings for him, and by the way she'd found her way into the inner circle we all just assumed it was only a matter of time. She seemed like a perfect fit for him, even Jake thought the same, so when he comes over forlorn to pull Jake and I to the side we're both left reeling.

"Really Josh? It seemed like a when rather than an if."

I can't explain it, on paper she's it, y'know? But she's not the one."

Jake's face changes at this. What do you mean you can't explain, to your other half? Josh would have seen the look too if his eyes weren't off searching the party.