Fight.

Peace

Tw: sh, suicide, anxiety

I groaned in my sleep rolling around as my eyes fluttered open ,i rolled to the side to look at my alarm clock before realising it wasn't there i sat up looking around not being in the barracks but in a dorm instead

I looked around my eyes landing on ghost in grey tracksuit bottoms and a baggy black t-shirt sleeping on the sofa.

My eyes widened as I realised i was in his room i stared at him he looked so peaceful his chest rising and falling as he breathes one hand on his stomach and the other on the back of his head

I sighed before pulling the covers off me and going into his bathroom switching on the light and staring at myself in the mirror looking closely at my eyes bloodshot red and swollen which then reminded me off why i was crying so much.

I groaned and pulled my sleeve up staring at the not so white bandage and stepped back , my back hit the wall and i slid down it.

My legs were up against my chest and my head resting on my knees, "whats wrong y/n" he said squatting next to me and stroking the back of my head.

I looked up at him meeting his eyes "I don't know." I whisper because it was true why was i the way i was? I put my head on my knees again before he took a deep breath and sat next to me laying his head back on the wall.

We sat there in silence but not an awkward silence more of a comforting one before he cleared his throat "what kind off music do u like?" He asked still facing forwards.

" you know that song that goes 'world was in fire no one could save me but you'?" I asked singing the lyrics to see if he recognised.

"Ah,i do know that song ..yeh" he said with a low comforting voice before he rustled around in his pocket.

I heard him plug something in and then a ear piece put in my ear, he scooted closer lifting up the side of his mask and placing the other in his ear before pressing play on his phone.

I smiled to myself as i heard the intro of the song (wicked game by chris isaak) and i started humming the song and singing the lyrics to myself.

We say there listening to the song on the bathroom floor, the sun still hadn't come up so i had no idea what the time was but I didn't care i felt comfortable and happy.

He sighed and turned the music down a little so i could hear him "why did you do that to yourself y/n" he asked me in a comforting tone before he turned his head to me.

I stayed facing forward "i get these moments where i just lay in bed and don't move for weeks so when i get like that i cut myself so i can feel pain and still do stuff" i spoke my voice cracking a little

He nods and stays silent like he was understanding it
I smiled to myself "i love this song" i said before singing along "cause boys don't cry".

He smiles under his mask before speaking "whenever i get too angry i come and sit here and listen to music too calm me down" he spoke out whilst humming to the song.

I felt guilty as i was always rude to ghost i never thought about him having his own issues "you get angry easy?" I asked turning my head a little and playing with my fingers

He nods to me staring at the ceiling "i have to take medication and everything for it" he breaths out before taking a deep breath in .

I sigh and tap my hands against my thighs to the music, he puts the other headphone in my ear and gets up grabbing something from the cupboard before squatting in-front of me.

" i gotta clean your wrist up, so just relax ok?" I nod before he turns the volume up the song changing (this night has opened my eyes-the smiths) and i started humming to the song